Sally can wait

old and Gray

January 2002

Christmas had come and gone. The kids were devastated, i was too. I still was stuck in this day dream almost. Like no matter what I did things just didn't seam right. Things were horrible. I hated everything about this whole thing dyou know what I mean.

It's just shit, Florance always asked for mummy but I didn't have anything to give her. Lennon the only one that isn't walking around in some daze. Hes sort of got his life back to normal. What even is normal any more? I missed her. I missed everything about her. Her smell, her touch, her smile, her voice but most of all I missed her attention. I missed how she always asked me how my day was and how she would kiss my cheek in the morning to wake me up. I missed how she would hold my hand and smile whenever she felt like we were happy.  I missed how she would tuck the kids in and I would watch over her while she slept because I loved how much she cared for them.

It sounds selfish and maybe it fucking is but I dont care. I wasn't the most important thing anymore. Whenever people see me its not. "How are you, how's life?" It's "how are the kids? They doing alright?"

Everyone moved on. Noels moved on, hes in the fucking studio making fucking demos for an album I dont want to fucking record. Tony, bonehead, guigsy fuck even me mam hardly spoke about her. They all stopped calling after a few weeks. Stopped asking for me or the kids.

It just wasn't fucking fair. I fucked up everything, I ruined everything. The worst thing was the last thing i ever said to her was "if you walk out that door dont bother coming fucking Back" and she didn't and she never would.

I should have been there for her more. I should have gotten her help but I didn't. I ruined her.

###
Febuary 2002

"Liam I fucking told you, it's " I'll show you WHAT you love" get it fucking right" Noel shouted through the speakers. He was such a cunt.

"Im fucking trying you dickhead" I shouted back. The music went again and i took a breath before I went at it again. This was fucking rediculas.

I set up again. Waiting for my cue. Then boom the song came out, me voice wasn't amazing but it wasn't bad either. If had a lot of that issues lately and it was getting worse.

"That was good man, you wanna go again?" Noel asked after I got it right. I shook my head.

"What time is it?" I asked. Noel checked.

"one" he shouted through.

" Alright one more time before I gotta go." I said. Noel nodded.

Again the music filled my hears. I held out the paper and blasted it out. The songs were harder for me to do. I wrote one for Sally on this one. It's called Songbird. Theres a few sad ones on this album. One Noel done called little by little really gets me. I don't know why. Maybe it's just the lyrics or summit I've been feeling, not better. Dont think I'll ever be better. I've been feeling different. And it makes me scared. It's like I've accepted that she's not here but not that she's gone.

"alright we got it" Noel shouted through. I smiled. About time. I was taking the kids out for sommit to eat. Lennon managed to pass his classes this year and I wanted to do somethin' nice for him. That's what sally would have done.

"Right I'm off then. See ya tomorrow unless you and Sara wanna come." I said. Noel shook his head.

"Nah but I'll bring Anais round this weekend for flo to see her. Shes been asking for her." Noel smiled. I nodded.

"Cool see ya tomorrow then" I said as i grabbed my bag and headed our to get a taxi to me house.

###

August 1988

I saw him coming from the other end of the hall. His hair was long and moping over his eyes. He wore a baggy jumper over his school shirt. The tail of it hanging out the bottom of the jumper. It was an Adidas one that Noel have him. He smirked as he spotted me. He smiled and jogged up to me. "Alright beautiful" he said to me as he kissed my cheek.

"So So" i said as he smiled down at me.

"wanna skip. Me mam said I could go home since I faked sick" he smiled. I thought for a second and smiled back. He made my heart flutter.

"Sure." I replied. I hadn't been talking much. My mum and dad were just stressing me out. I was pretty sure my dad was gonna leave soon. I heard him talk about it to my mum.

We walked the short distance from school to Liams house. It wasn't much but it was what he had. We went inside and I could hear the guitar stop.

"WHO'S THAT" Noel shouted from the bedroom.

"Its Liam" he shouted. It wasn't long before I heard the tapping of feet before Noel appeared.

"Mams gonna fucking kill you for skipping again." Noel shook his head.

"I asked her if I could come home I wasn't feeling well" Liam said back to him sticking his tung out.

"Fuck off Liam you're such a baby" he said before turning to me.

"Hay" i smiled.

"What's your excuse for skipping" he asked. I shrugged and walked by him into the living room before turning the telly on. I looked up to see Noel stairing at me angrily. His angry face didn't scare me anymore.

"Couldn't be arsed with maths" I said. Noel sighed and flung his hands up.

"Im going out so when mam comes back I don't get shot" Noel said. I shrugged again as he left the house.

***

Me and sally got changed before we decided to go out. There was a little river not far from the house we decided to go to. We still had that summer sun and it was really warm. We sat by the bank and skipped rocks till sally said something.

"Where do you think we will be in like 20 years time?" She asked. I looked at her. She looked beautiful as always.

"I dont know, hopefully we're still mates" I said as i nudged her side. I smiled as she giggled a little.

"Maybe we'll get married or summit, Noel can give us jobs with him when his music takes off" she said. I looked at her.

"Married!" I said. More out of surprise then anything.

"Don't you wanna get together for real one day, not just shagging about and That?" She asked. I did. More than anything in the world.

" Yeah. Course I do. I wanna make you happy one day Sal. Me and you can live in a big fancy house and there will be nowt that you can't have" I told her wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She lay her head on my shoulder.

"I dont think I could ever picture me being with anyone else to be honest Li. I mean I know were young and that but you're the only guy I've ever loved" she told me. I smiled.

"I love ya too Sal." I said kissing her forehead.

"One-day the whole world's gonna know that me and you are in love. Well grow old together. Have loads of kids and they will all be right cool." I said imagining it.

"Promise that then" she said.

"Promise what?" I asked.

"Till were like Grey and old." She said. I smiled.

"Yeah Sal. Till were Gray and old." I told her. She smileled a bright smile.

###

FIRST OF ALL

Thank you all for reading this story,  it's ment a lot and I really enjoyed writing it.

Second of all

Im working on a few new stories, check them out because they are all different and hopefully have better ending 🤗

Thanks 🤙💞