Sally can wait

stop crying your heart out

TRIGGER WARNING

I sat up after liam did, he couldn't look me in the eyes, he never did whenever he felt guilty. I felt just as bad as him.

"Look I know its your body and that, and I'm not saying I don't want it at all, I'm just saying we should think about it a lot more Sal, we've got so much coming up, the wedding, the holidays, the new album, the tour and the big gigs too. I'm just saying now's not exactly the best timing." He said, his voice was shakey. I could tell he was devistated and i felt so bad because I agreed with everything he said.

"I know" i said. He took my hand and held it tight.

"It's your body and your choice and whatever you decide I'm there 100%. I just thought I should let you know how I feel. I wish it was diffrent and that but its not." He said. I felt another tear roll down my cheek.

"It's your choice too Liam, were in this together remember" i said. He nodded. I could tell he was upset.

"I know," he said.

"We have time to decide still you know." I said. Liam nodded.

"Look I'm going to go for a shower and get changed, well go and get the kids tomorrow, you just take it easy yeah?" He said. I nodded. He looked at me and smiled sadly before kissing my cheek.

"I love ya Sally Cinnamon" he whispered.

"Love you too" I said as he walked away to the toilet.

###

A lot had happened in a week. The weeding was in 6 days, me and Liam were run riot with last minute things. Liam was with Noel and Lennon for their final suit fitting. I had my dress altered due to the baby weight.

We hadn't spoken any more about the kid and we certainly hadn't told anyone about it. The only other person apart from me and liam that knew was Noel. He promised he wouldn't say anything about it. Liam was still sulking around about it even if he wouldn't talk to me about it and I didn't want to push him.

We had a 'surprise' visit from CPS and they gave us a random drug test. If it came back clean then we were off the hook. Liam got pissy about that too but no one cared because he got pissy about everything.

Everything was fine. Or as close to fine as we could get. I was stressed out because of the wedding and had no time to chill out. Me and Meg were on the outs although we sorted things out I couldn't be arsed listening to her moan about what a cunt Noel was being.

Noel, Lennon and Liam came in around 5, Liam said he had already eaten and so had Lennon who had went upstairs to get changed and go out.

"So have you decided who the best man is yet?" I asked. He nodded.

"Paul" he said popping a grape in his mouth.

"Paul" Noel asked eyebrows raised.

"Yeah man, he's the oldest ain't he" Liam said with a grin on his face.

"In that case, Noel Gallagher I have to ask you something, and you can say no, if you like" i said. Noel flicked his eyebrows signalling for me to get on with it.

"Well since me dad hasn't been around for years and I don't have anyone else to ask, I was wondering of you would give me away" I said as Flo began clapping.

"Me?" Noel asked shocked.

"Well, Liam asked Paul to be his best man, and you're like a brother to me. I know that Tony couldn't make it and I know that Leonie would want it to be you" I said smiling.

Noel looked nothing less than shocked. He took a second before he nodded. "Course i will" he said. "Yeah, I would be honoured."

I smiled as Flo clapped some more and Liam smiled picking her up.

###

Me and liam were in the living room with Flo since Lennon was staying with his friend. I was going through last minute things and liam was playing on the floor with Florance.

"Daddy, sing" Flo said sleepily. although she was three she didn't speak a lot.

"Daddy cant be arsed kiddo" liam said back and I chuckled as he was almost asleep himself.

"No daddy sing me a song" she demanded as she yawned.

"Alright, what song" he said. I looked over to them. Flo was drinking out her bottle (that liam insists she needs before bed, even if i say she should be off them by now) her head was in the crook of liams neck. He had his arm wrapped around her with his hand under her legs so she was comfortable. His other hand was under his own head acting as a pillow.

"Emm..." she thought for a second. "You choose" she said finaly. Liam sighed.

"Alright then." He said. His eyes were shut. I smiled. I couldnt believe in a week i was marrying him.

"You've got a feeling lost inside,
it just won't let you go" he began to sing. I smiled as he did. I knew Noel wrote the song for Meg but Liam always sang it for me.

"your life is sneaking up behind,
it just won't let you go,
is what I'm trying to say,
is would you maybe,
come dancing with me,
coz to me it doesn't matter,
if your hopes and dreams are shattered." He was singing quieter as the song went on. His eyes were still closed. I knew he was running around alot to day.

"When you say something you make me believe,
in a girl who wears a dirty shirt,
she knows exactly what she's worth to me." He said pulling Flo in close. She had fallen asleep after the first few lines.

People could say what they wanted about him. He was the biggest pain in the arse I had ever known but he was a fucking good dad. He was a good partner and although hes made mistakes I still love him. I always would and nothing would change that.

I sat there thinking about this kid. Liam was going to be gone at the start of January and he would be gone till late August with the album and the tour and all that bollocks. When liam was gone I had a hard enough time trying to look after Lennon and Flo and juggle that with work.

I knew that I had some big opportunities with the company coming up. With fashion weeks in January and July. I was excited to see if this would lead to bigger things and maybe even letting me do my own shoot.

It was selfish, and it was going to be hard but liam was right. Now's just not the time to have another child. It broke my heart, and it made me feel guilty but sometimes life thows you things and you just can't dodge them. I looked at Flo and Liam on the floor and let a few tears escape and for the first time in my life I closed my eyes and begged god for forgiveness for what i was going to do.