Sally can wait

American pie

Liams P.O.V june 1997

Its been two months since my incident as Sally calls it. Its been tough as fuck but together were getting through this. Its the hiding it from the kids that hurts the most.

I cant believe i almost fucked this up. It haunts me im ain't gonna lie, like i almost lost me life and left Sal a single mum to me two kids. How do you forgove yourself for that?.

Sallys been amazing, she really has, at first i couldnt believe she stayed i mean i was and still am a proper mess. She hasn't been like our kid, that stupid mug suggested fucking counclin' or rehab and all malarkey. Shes just been there for me, she always has.

I miss her. I miss her being mine, she wants her space and im giving it to her but, i want her back. Shes been in my life again for two years and i dont know what i would do if i hadn't went to her flat that day. Shes the love of my life.

Im not stupid i know i fucked up. She keeps telling me that it's over with but i cant help but feel like i really have blown it this time. I cheated on her and i threw away my diamond while looking for a shitty page 3 rock. Alice was a mate ive known since i started out before me and Sally got back together.

She was just a means to an end but she means nothing to me now i have Sally and the kids. I only got with her because i was off me tits. What i did to Sally was shit. I know that and ill never forgive myself for it.

After she left me and went back to Glasgow and all that i realised that theres not another girl like her. I already lost her, i was fucking things up for myself but not having the kids around made me bored. Coke filled that gap. Alcahol filled it too but mostly the Coke.

I sniffed when i was bored and when i got bored sniffing i just ended up drinking till i was bored of that, then it was more coke. It wasnt hard to do when you had no budget like i did those years before.

After i woke up from that almost OD i was to embarrassed to look at her never mind talk to her, so she talked to me. Things got better as time went on and she moved back in i really had a feeling we would get back together but its been two months and i dont know where me head was at.

I missed us as a couple but if im wasting my time on someone who doesnt love me should i move on? I mean i love Sally i love her with all me heart but i cant wait around me whole life and wait for her to forgive me.

Ive fucked her over too many times and its impossible this time to beg for her forgiveness because i deserve it this time. I was sitting in the garden having just asked sally to spend the weekend with me.

"Whos the girl?" A female voice said, Alice.

Alice was American. I meet her in 1994 when we went to  america the first time promoting definetly maybe. We fucked around a little and then it became a thing. If i was in america we would hook up and if she was here we would too.

"Alice what are you doing here?" I asked her standing up and putting my beer down.

"She told me to tell you she was picking up the kids." She said. She was pretty, alice was, and had i not been madly in love with Sally i would have picked her to be with. She was one of them girls who was a lot like Sally, she was funny and smart and joked a lot but she wasnt Sally was she.

"Oh, what are you doin' here though, you cant just turn up to my house Alice" i said, she shrugged.

"I didnt know you had a girlfriend" she said. I sighed.

"Shes not me bird, shes me kids mam" i said. Alice raised her eyebrows.

"Shes living with you here?" She asked. I nodded.

"I um... I've been going through some shit and that" i said scratching my head. I took a sip of my beer ignoring her stare.

"Hows Noel?" She asked smiling.

"Married, with a kid, so stay away from him too" i warned. She walked closer to me. Making me gulp because she was beautiful.

"I was only asking Li, no need to get jelouse" she said pushing me onto the deck chair.

"Alice look" i said but she sat on my lap. My hands moved by instinct grabbing her arse for support.

"Alice" she said mimicking my accent very badly.

"Look, your a nice girl and your funny and that but i have a lot going on right now. This just isnt the time" i said letting her go. She ran her hand through my short hair.

"You suit long hair better Liam," she said.

"Sally tells me that" i smiled. Sally was always on my mind. Always.

"Do you love her?" She asked.

"You know i do, other wise i would have you living here instead. And as mad as this sounds, i think i always will love her." I told Alice the truth. She was my voice of reason.

"Both Gallagher brothers off the market, thats depressing" she said smiling.

"Yeah well, you should be so lucky Alice, you had a taste of us both." I raised my eyebrows. She laughed.

"Liked you both together too" she said. I blushed. That was not something i ever wanted to remember. "Crystal meth makes you do mad shit huh" she said still on my lap.

"Yeah and a 3 day bender on that, coke, acid, boose and no sleep will lead to you and your brother having a threesome with a playboy model." I said honestly. Not either of our finest moments.

"I enjoyed it." She said laughing.

"Cant say the same now im sober love" i replied.

"So thats it, Liam Gallagher has found true love?" She asked.

"I found love a long time ago, was just to stupid to admit it."

"Well Gallagher, i wish you the best then" she said slowly standing up. I smiled.

"Thanks, ive fucked up enough to need it" i said drinking my beer. Alice smiled.

"Shes really pretty, your a lucky guy"

"Yeah i know" i said smiling. I really was the luckiest guy around.

"Next time your in America i hope to hear about how lifes going for you Gallagher" she said as she walked away.

"Alice" i said as she walked away. She turned around. "Thanks for not being a bitch about it" i said, she smiled, nodded and walked away.

I thought about everything, was life worth all this hastle? Sally was my queen and i needed her back in her throne. I was stupid and i am stupid and i know this wont be the last time i fuck up my life but i had to try. I had to talk her into taking me back because my life was nothing without her.

Ive been here before and it was horrible. Thinking your loosing the one you love the most is the scariest thing and when i relive it or see a life without me in it it scares me because i never want that for them. I want my kids to be happy, somewhere down the line i even mighy want a few more who knows but everything i want.

The kids, the family, marriage, a top band thats bigger than the beatles. All of it was down to me. I went on tour for a year in less than three months and i couldnt not fix this before i left because if i did then i know ive lost sally forever.

I needed her to support me even when its her that needs it because shes what i want most in life. Her and the kids are me everyrhing and i mean thay even when i don't  show it. I loved her.