dizzy - thoughts & stuff

thanks @ my parents

i showed my mom the drawing of finn i did which is mind you like my favorite thing i've ever made and she legit,,, laughed at it????

like thanks this is why i never talk to u anymore lol

so the other day my dad and i got in an argument about him being a homophobic piece of trash and some of the stuff he was saying really hurt and made me upset and i was crying for a good while after i got home and then i fell asleep bc i was exhausted from it

when i woke up he came into my room and my eyeliner had run down bc of the crying and he was like oh were you crying?? and i said yea ofc and he was like why??? and i said bc you said some pretty terrible stuff and he was like "oh well i don't think i said anything that bad but im sorry if i offended you" like yea obviously it wasn't that bad if it made me sob for an hour thanks dad

and then he had the ne r v e to fucking ask if i was crying bc "you think you might maybe be possibly interested in-" (i cut him off and was like are u asking if im gay? since he clearly wasn't just gonna fucking say it) and he nodded at that and i said no and then he was like well i want you to know there are 5 people who could change my mind about this and they're all in this house

w ha t t h e fu ck

so you're telling me that gay people are only worthy of your approval if they are in your immediate family? that's like saying having a daughter changed your opinion on women and how they should be treated, it's selfish and vain and sick.

a minority/opressed group's worth is not determined by their relation to you. suck my dick

so basically i'm still mad at him for that but i'm just acting like i'm not bc i dont want arguing to be our whole relationship

i have put this conversation with him off for so long because i feel like we were finally making progress with our relationship and now we're just back to square one

i'm secretly mad at him and now he slightly distrusts me in some way or another i feel

this always happens, we get to an "i almost feel like i can talk to you" stage and then something happens to set it all back to "i have no trust in you now"

i feel like now he's going to be breathing down my neck since he thinks there's a small possibility of me liking girls

but ik you guys don't want you to hear about all that so i'll tell u about other stuff

i went to ashley's house last night and saw her pets

this is gizmo hes my fave