dizzy - thoughts & stuff

im so lucky

ik all i usually do is complain about my irl friends but really i love them a lot so this is just gonna be mushy so r r y

i'm honestly so lucky i made the friends that i did, i didn't think coming into this school that i'd meet anyone as great as ashley and megan are, i was so worried i wouldn't make any friends but i did and honestly im so fortunate to have them

i had only known ashley for like 2 weeks and megan for around 3 days when we first hung out outside of school, which was crazy bc i barely knew them and on top of that it was with a group of guys i didn't know at all, which is so beyond out of my comfort zone that i don't know how i even agreed to it

but the thing is that at the end of the night when one of the guys asked how long we'd known each other, it wasn't until i said "since wednesday" that i realized that i didn't know them at all, becuase i felt so comfortable around them already

i feel like i've gotten so close to them so fast and although we don't really talk that much outside of school compared to some of my other friends, no one has ever made such an effort to include me, to invite me to events, to make sure i was caught up in the conversation, to make a little more room for me on the sidewalk so i can walk beside and not behind

no one's ever done that before

tonight we were all sitting up against the wall on the sidewalk, people were bustling past and there was music and lights and all kinds of smells from the festival but it felt like we were in our own little bubble, a group of real friends sharing dinner and just enjoying each other's company in general

so i said (and this is so rare for me, i can shower someone in compliments over text but as soon as i have to say them out loud i freeze up) "this is gonna be really cheesy but i just wanted to say thank you becuase i've never had friends like this before and i love you guys" and i would've said more but megan leaned over and hugged me and ashley tried to say "i love you too" through a mouthful of teriyaki chicken, which of course sounded really funny so we all laughed and then just continued on as normal but i knew they understood and returned the feeling and just agh being around them makes me genuinely so happy and i'm starting to see why people love to hang out in public so much

idk i hope we keep doing stuff like this because i really enjoyed myself and i had such a great time, and we're all going to the concert sunday so thats v exciting!! i can't wait (:

(sappiness over now)

as for the actual festival, it was really fun. it was all christmas and they had foam/bubble machines that from a distance made it look like snow was falling. the band and choir from my school were scattered around and performing, and everyone seemed to know everyone (except for me haha) and it was a downtown area which are my f a v o r i t e s they're so pretty and charming and the buildings and the shops and just ughhh i love them sm, plus it was all decorated for christmas with lots of lights and trees and stuff and it was so beautiful, i wish i took pictures but i was just too busy having fun i guess

i did get some pictures of the horses we met tho, the one on the left is named hercules, im not sure about the other one. i got to pet them, they were really sweaty from working so hard but it was okay i loved them anyway. i haven't seen a horse in months so it made me really happy