Mystic Messenger OneShots {Book 1}

SaeyoungxReader ~ Nobody Loves

Warning: Includes self-harm(only a small amount, but still) and upsetting thoughts.

Requested by: onlinegirl03

Your POV:

I sat on the couch in Saeyoung's living room. A few hours ago, my boyfriend invited me over his house. When I got here, he immediately started apologizing, saying he got a call from work and he has to work. Saeyoung said that he had the day off, but something went wrong and his work needs him.

I let out a sigh, as I watched all the RFA members join into the chatroom, all except Saeyoung. All six of the members were in the chatroom, but I decided it would be better if I didn't enter.

"They wouldn't want me to enter, anyway." I thought to myself.

I stared at the screen a little longer before closing out of the app. 

"Even if I did enter, they would probably just continue their conversation and not even notice me. That, or they wouldn't care." My thoughts continued, as I placed my phone on the coffee table and brought my legs close to my body, holding them with my arms.

Tears start to fill my eyes, as I continue to think about how it wouldn't even matter if I left the RFA. In fact, the organization might even prosper if I weren't here. Soon enough, I feel those tears make multiple paths down each of my cheeks. Bringing my arm up to my face, I attempt to dry my tears, but there is no point, as they will just keep coming. 

My tears fall faster and my breathing hastens, as if I were running a marathon. I start to hear my low sobs, grow louder. My thoughts shift over to Saeyoung, my boyfriend. 

"He doesn't love me. There's no way. Saeyoung is only pretending he cares, just like all the other RFA members."

I move my right hand over to my left wrist, and dig my nails into my skin, deep enough to break it. It hurts a little, but is nothing compared to the hurt I feel of the RFA not caring about me. I push my right hand further, wondering if it could hurt worse then the members not caring. As my nails dig deeper, I let out more tears and sobs.

Suddenly, I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me. I don't look up to see who it is. They pull me close to an equally as strong body before I feel one of the arms removed from around me, as I hear a loud gasp. I start to feel the person's hand around my right hand, and they start to pull me away from where I dug my nails into my skin. At the moment, I feel too weak to fight against them, so I don't even try.

"Y/n." I hear a gentle, but worried voice.

I look up, and see Saeyoung, my boyfriend, holding me as close as he could to his body. I must have been crying loud and was too deep in my thoughts to here him walk in. His face has worry written all over it, and his arms are wrapped around me so tight. If I weren't so dependent on my thoughts, I would have thought he loved and cared for me.

I suddenly realize I have stopped crying when Saeyoung wipes my remaining tears and starts to run his fingers through my hair. Something about his touch makes me feel happy. Without thinking, I rest my head on Saeyoung's shoulder, and I start trying to control my breathing.

"What's wrong?" Saeyoung asked.

I don't answer for a moment, then I figure that there is no point in lying. In the past, no matter how many lies I told about how I was feeling, Saeyoung always saw right through them.

"I just feel as if no one in the RFA cares about me enough to keep me in their lives. They are all pretending they care." I pause for a moment. "Even you."

When Saeyoung doesn't answer me, it's clear what I said was true. Once again, tears start to fill my eyes, so I close them, in attempts to keep my tears hidden. Suddenly, I feel a pair of soft lips press against mine. I open my eyes to see Saeyoung kissing me. I don't return the kiss, and I stay quiet. Saeyoung keeps his lips against mine for a little longer before pulling away. He cups my cheek with his left hand, making me look at him.

"Y/n. That's not true. I love you with my whole heart. There is no one who could ever replace you. You changed my life so much, it is impossible for me to not love you." Saeyoung said.

I open my mouth to say something, but before I can, Saeyoung starts to list all the things he loves about me. As Saeyoung continues to say everything he loves about me, my heart starts to believe him. By the way he is speaking and the passion in his eyes, it is clear he is not telling a single lie.

"I can list so much more, but we would be here forever. I love you Y/n." Saeyoung smiles.

I let out a small smile and kiss Saeyoung's cheek.

"I love you too." I reply, but my voice is still weak from me crying.

"Come on. Let me clean that before it gets infected." Saeyoung suggests.

I nod, and we go into the bathroom for Saeyoung to clean my tiny wound. Saeyoung holds my left hand, as we walk into the bathroom. As we walk, I start to feel a little embarrassed for thinking about all those things, but I know Saeyoung will always be by my side to help me, even at my worst times.

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A/n: I hope you enjoyed!
Requests are open.

From now on, I will not be accepting requests with triggering themes (self-harm, depressing thoughts, etc.). They are just too difficult for me to write, and I don't feel fully comfortable. I hope you understand.