Heartbeats Series #1: Heartbeats For Sir [Completed- Self published]

52- If only

Abid's PoV

Muli kong naramdaman ang pagtulo ng luha ko. I was once your happiness, you were once my happiness.

Pero nagbago ang lahat ng makita ko ulit si Benedict when I came back here. He made me feel loved which is not true. It was all fake. He just did that for fun. The one who really loves me is Charrie but I pushed her away. Hindi ko alam na ganito na pala kalalim ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya dahil masyado akong busy kakataboy sa kanya.

I finished education in Paris before I went back here. I was Charrie's last dance in her 18th birthday which is also our engagement party. After a week, we got married and live in one roof.

As I reminisce, I can feel how much I love her... ever since we were kids. I was just blinded by my gender because of Ben's handsome face. I, myself, misunderstood me.

I wiped my tears away at lumabas ng bahay. I'll get you back Charrie. I promise I'll do.

I drove to the hospital where Chad is. I got a text from Avin a while ago. Chad is my child. I have my right to see him. I promise to complete our family.

As soon as I arrived at the hospital, I asked for Chad's room number. I got it by saying I'm the father of that kid and I showed the nurse a picture of me and his mother, Charrie which happened to be known here as Chad's mother. I went in and saw my child on the bed. Eyes closed.

Hindi parin ba siya nagigising?

Umupo ako sa upuan sa tabi ng kama.

"Chad.. Son.", pagbanggit ko.

"I'm sorry. It was daddy's fault. If only I could be there. I was an assh*le for not fighting for your mother. I didn't know I have a son... but I'm caring for somebody's child. I'm so sorry my son.", sabi ko at pinunasan ang luhang tumulo sa pisngi ko. I want to hug him and his mom. I want to be with them both. Para kasing ang layo layo nilang dalawa. Parang nandito ako at nasa kabilang parte sila ng mundo. Parang napakaimposibleng magtagpo kami. Parang ang dami daming nakaharang. Hindi agad malalampasan pero anong magagawa ko? Dapat ko silang lampasan at iyon ang gagawin ko. Napahawak ako sa kamay ng anak ko.

"This little hand, I'm so glad I've touched and hold it. I'll look for your mom ok? I'll make it up to her.", I said and kissed his forehead before going out. I have to talk to Charrie.

The nurse said she saw Charrie went to the garden of the hospital so I went to the garden.

Napatigil ako sa paghakbang dahil sa nakita ko. Avin is hugging Charrie while they're swaying. It was like they're the only person in the world. I felt my tears roll down. May pag-asa pa ba? Bumitaw ka na ba Charrie? Ayaw mo na ba? Dapat na ba akong tumigil?

It should've been me hugging her like that.

It should've been me comforting her like that.

It should've been me who's there by her side.

It should've been me who's caring for her right now.

It should've been me..

If only I have the courage to fight for her.

If only I've made her feel loved.

If only I told her what I really feel...

But I didn't...

Because I chose to leave and hurt her... for other woman's sake.

...

A/N: mejj gutom ako kaya sabaw. Gusto ko ng sabaw. Tinatamad akong kumain. Hahaha 😂😂