XXI

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I lay down on the couch of the common room, my head pounding from all the continuous crying. It was well past midnight, the Slytherin dungeons quiet as everyone slept soundly, unaware of anything that had gone on in the last few hours.

I sat up and wipe my arm across my cheeks, the makeup smearing across my wrist a cruel reminder of what tonight was supposed to be.

"You're one of us now."

Snape's words played over and over in my head as I try to sleep, my body shivering despite the roaring fire I started. I sniffle loudly as another wave of tears comes pouring out, my face contorting as I attempt to remain as silent as possible.

This was everything my mother was afraid, everything she tried so hard to protect me from was ruined in one single night. My mind ran over the sequence of events that lead to this moment; following Draco into that room, seeing Katie Bell with the necklace, breaking up with Blaise at the party.

If those things had never happened, I wouldn't be sitting here sobbing into a pillow, I would be blissfully sleeping and wrapped up in my fluffy green duvet.

I close my eyes and try to calm myself with longer and steadier breaths, finally allowing a small moment peace. I take the events of this evening and roll them into a tight ball of light, watching as the silver and gold colors dance together creating an illuminating glow.

With a deep sigh, I release them, feeling the ball slither out of my chest and join the rest of my jumbled thoughts in a starry night sky above me.

After and exhausting moment, I lift my left hand up and remove the moonstone ring from my index finger. I hold it delicately, my mothers voice playing in my head.

I run my palm across my ripped dress, my nails digging into the gaping hole that's been created. I pat away my tears as anger sets in, the silver piece of jewelry burning in my palm.

I was supposed to be safe. I was supposed to avoid Draco. I was supposed to go completely unnoticed.

I left Ilvermorny to get away from the dark magic of the US and now I've got myself into an even bigger problem. This ring was meant to keep me out of harms way and now...

Now I have to become a Death Eater.

The last summer comes rushing back in a flood of memories: the broken front door,  my mothers dazed expression, her fingers nails caked in dirt as we sat on the kitchen floor.

I thought nothing could get worse after that night, I thought I'd leave for Hogwarts and stay hidden within it's castle walls.

I couldn't have been more wrong. 

My secret would have to come out, surely I would be forced to admit what my mother told me that afternoon. There's no way I can continue to hide it from everyone, especially now that I'm to become a Death Eater. I don't know much about the Dark Lord's followers but something tells me they wouldn't be pleased to find I was withholding information from them.

And soon enough I'll have to come face to face with you-know-who himself, pledge my allegiance to him, and confess my darkest secret.

What will he do with the information? Will it enrage him, will he throw me across the room, slamming my body into the wall with frustration?

Or worse; will it excite him.

I slip the ring back on with a sob as I think about sending a letter off to Athena, waking her up and forcing her to join me in the dungeons to have a shoulder to cry on.

But I couldn't drag her into this too, she had already done so much for me these past few months. I had to keep this from her, no matter how hard it was for me, she couldn't be involved. I had to do this alone.

I take in a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it flow out of mouth, my eyes fluttering closed longing for sleep. I roll onto my side, willing myself to get up, change out of my dress, and lie in bed but my thoughts don't connect to my actions as I stay limp on the couch.

I attempt to move again, this time luring myself with the knowledge that Pansy and Daphne were both gone. Pansy had left for Christmas break early because her parents were taking her on a 'lavish holiday,' as she called it, and Daphne was visiting family in Turkey.

That was almost enough to get me up, but I still couldn't do it.

After a few minutes, I resign myself to sleeping on the couch, grabbing a blanket from the arm rest and nestling in, a long groan escaping as I stretch my legs out.

I'm just about to doze off when the I hear the stones crackling behind me. My eyes shoot open as I wonder who could be coming back to the common room at this time of night, it had to be well past 1 am.

I force myself to sit upright, spinning around quietly so I don't startle them.

My eyes widen as Draco stumbles in, his black suit jacket torn open and his white undershirt stained a bright red.

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