daughter of wands (d.m)

XXXVI

My eyes flutter open, the light in the room forcing me to shut them closed as they water heavily. I lift a weak arm and wipe the sweat away, my mind struggling to locate where I am.

I suck in a hard breath, my lungs filling with air and waking me up slightly. The room is familiar but not enough that I can remember whose it is.

The walls are a dusty gray, a few posters and newspaper clippings about quidditch hung lazily with tape above a dresser to my left.

The sheets I'm wrapped in were a deep green, the color brightening as the sun comes in from the window next to the bed. A few books about potions and magical creatures are rested on the windowsill next to a candle that's nearly finished.

I exhale as I use my strength to roll on my side, the memories flooding back as I take in the sleeping body in a large velvet lounge chair, his knees hugged tightly to his chest.

Draco lays completely still, his hair messily concealing his furrowed brow as he twitches slightly. I smile at his vulnerability, nestling into the pillows and watching him peacefully.

I try to focus on the way his lips part as he breathes but my mind won't let me forget about my meeting with the Dark Lord. His smooth voice echoed in my head, growing goosebumps where his icy fingers brushed over my skin.

My throat closes as I recall the man next to the fireplace, his face going stark white before he crumpled to the ground.

I killed him. I killed him.

I suddenly feel very hot, the blankets covering my body becoming to much. I jump out of bed, my stomach turning as Draco nonchalantly rubs his eyes and rolls over.

"Hey, you're awake..." He announces groggily, a yawn escaping his lips.

I nod, not responding as I begin to pace, the walls closing in on me. My legs shake beneath me as I realize I have little to no strength left in my body, my knees giving way as I fall to the floor.

Draco leaps out from the chair, rushing to my side and snaking his arms under mine to hoist me up, "Are you okay?"

I can't answer, my tongue suddenly feeling too big for my mouth.

"Maybe my fathers spell didn't work..." He mutters under his breath, his fore arms giving one last tug as I slump into his chest. "You're not overheating though, do you feel alright? You look like your freaking out."

I let in a loud breath, my lungs desperate for oxygen as I dry heave. He hugs me tightly to him as we sway sweetly for a moment, nothing but our beating hearts creating noise.

I hated who I had become, I was disgusted with myself, how could I go on with my life knowing what I had done. If I looked in mirror would I recognize the person I had become?

I had murdered someone.

And now I was going back to Hogwarts on very strict orders to do it again, this time to the headmaster.

And all for what? For Draco? For a boy who I had only met a few months ago? My mind was screaming at me that I hardly knew this boy and yet here I am, rocking in his arms and changing absolutely everything for him.

Maybe this was my destiny all along. Maybe my life was meant to be this way. Given who my father was, is it any surprise I gave into evil so easily? Should I be more concerned that it took this long for it to take me over?

And then all at once it makes sense.

I feel Draco nestle his head into my hair, resting a small peck in the top of my head. The thumping in my chest and stomach doesn't go away, but it settles into a manageable flutter.

Draco was the reason and always will be the reason. I may have only crossed his path a few months ago but we were one in the same. Two young students thrust into a world they knew nothing about.

We had orders barked at us from people we couldn't refuse: go here, do this, act this way.

Without even needing to speak to him, I understood everything he had gone through because we nearly lived the same life. We had a pressure on us that no one else had experienced, and above all, we had no other choice.

My sobs turned into light cries as we stood in the center of his bedroom, a light breeze floating in from outside.

"Everett," He whispers, pulling away and cupping my cheek. "It's not..." He looks deeply into my eyes as we hold each other, his mouth opening to speak but nothing coming out.

It didn't matter, I knew what he was saying.

"It's not fair."

I nod, the last tear rolling my cheek as we stare at each other, the silence between us a comfortable one.

Draco let's go first, his heavy feet making their way to the edge of the bed as he rests his head in his hands.

I follow behind, taking my place beside him as he takes in a deep breath and shakes his head, "How are we going to do this?"

I laugh sarcastically, "I'm not sure..."

"I don't... I don't think I can." He stutters out, his eyes blinking away tears.

I rub his back gently, "Then don't."

"I have to, I have no choice."

As I study his face, my mothers words come rushing through my mind:

"I thought if I did what he asked, he could see I that I truly would have done anything for him. But he wasn't a good wizard, he wanted people to suffer..." She hangs her head shamefully. "I hurt lots of people Everett..."

My brow furrows, "Mom? What are you talking about, what's wrong with you."

"I'm not proud of it but I was in too deep by this point, I had too. But I was smart, I kept myself in the shadows, kept my name out of everything. No one knew who I was... To them I was invisible." She looks at me lovingly, stroking her hand across my cheek.

I rest my fingers lightly under his chin, lifting it gently so he meets my eyes. My blood runs hot as I see his blotchy cheeks and runny nose, his brow furrowing as he tries not to cry.

"Maybe its time we make our own rules."

****