Gilmore Girls: Precious Ties

Chapter 43: Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was just a week away and Rory and Logan decided that on this day, they would gather their friends and family for a gender reveal afternoon tea party.

"What better way to celebrate Valentine's Day than to celebrate the baby that was made through our love for each other!" Rory said, excited to have another party to prepare for.

"As long as it isn't too much for you Ace...." Logan warned, "I don't want you overdoing it, especially when it's so hot.

"I will be fine Logan...I will be getting a cake made at the bakery and I'll pick up some finger food and fruit. It won't be too over the top at all!" Rory promised.

"Okay then, go ahead....I guess it will be fun to see everyone. I think Honor is heading home at the end of next week so it will be good to see them again. I feel bad I have been so preoccupied with house hunting and getting our business up and running, there hasn't been much time left. Not to mention, I feel like the hospital is my second home with the daily therapy sessions!" Logan said feeling guilty.

"It won't be forever and things will settle down. You are juggling a lot of things and you need to remember you are just getting over a serious head injury. Please promise me you will be careful not to do too much...Finn has said he is happy for us to stay here as long as we want, so don't stress about getting a house...it can wait!" Rory pleaded.

"You're right...it can wait...I just have to get over the 'work first' mentality that I've had all these years...it's been ingrained in me from birth!" Logan admitted.

As Rory went about vacuuming and dusting, Logan sat on the deck with his laptop thinking back to all the times when work came first. One memory that had come back vividly was the day he accepted the job in San Francisco and he had decided to propose to Rory. He was surprised at how detailed the memory was.

"How did I get it all so wrong?" Logan asked himself. "I guess I just wanted it all..." Flashbacks of the house with the avocado tree that he planned he would rent came back but his initial excitement had turned to bitter disappointment. He could recall asking Lorelai for her permission then going to the jewellery store to pick out the ring and waiting through Rory's graduation dinner to ask for her hand. Logan relived the nerves he experienced as he publicly proposed to the love of his life.

"I just didn't understand her response...her surprise...I knew she was over big gestures, but I just couldn't help myself...and there was the horse and carriage waiting outside ...that we didn't get to ride in together....then the agonising wait until after her graduation...I was so sure she was going to say yes..." Logan blinked back tears, surprised about the pain that had resurfaced.

He could hear Rory's voice saying, "Logan, I'm sorry...I can't ...I love you...you know how much I love you....I love the idea of being married to you...but there's a lot of things in my life now that are undecided...that used to scare me but now I kind of like the idea that it's all kind of wide open...and if I married you ....it just wouldn't be..."

"I just didn't respect her need for independence....to be able to chase her journalism dreams....of course she would want to do that and I had always loved her drive and ambition....Why did I have to be so selfish and stubborn ....I had the most amazing girl and she was prepared to try long distance...even though it would have been hard...that's how much she cared...but I saw it as going backwards....why couldn't I have compromised? She could have ended up finding work on the West coast anyway...but it had to be all or nothing for me...I insisted on having everything my own way...even though she loved me....and I just took that blue velvet ring box back ....said goodbye and walked out of her life....what a fool!"

Logan watched as a lone seagull flew away from the bird it had been sitting alongside in the fence. The picture said it all, reminding him all too well of how he had made his choice and regretted it for so many years. Even when he had dated other women, he still felt alone because they weren't Rory! She had his heart and he had only managed to begin to feel again after Hamburg but it was so complicated with the 'Dynastic Plan' and engagement to Odette.