Text Mate (BBS Crew Fanfic) [Completed]

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I'm posting chapters everyday until I finish this book!!! (I mean that's what I've been doing lately but I figured I should just let y'all know)

Also I'm totally not getting my brother a birthday present like three months late pfft what r u talking about

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Witness-Protection Program

WildHoe: why do we only use this chat for drama?????

RoastMasterV2: bc that's the only way anyone is going to actually read it

Four07: ^^^^^^

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: yea I'm a str8 sAVAGE AND I ONLY WANT THE FRESHEST, PIPING HOT TEA

Four07: he watches Care Bears at four in the morning

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: when UR BF EXPOSES YOU

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: AM I RIGHT, BROCK?

Zoyrk: so much shade this chat is turning into an umbrella

RoastMasterV2: what kind of umbrella? Like a children's umbrella? A regular umbrella? Is it purple? Is it gay? Does it have polka dots? Is it as dark as my soul? Is it clear unlike my will to live?

Zoyrk: nah, we're one of those big ass beach umbrellas

RoastMasterV2: oh so we're tacky and obnoxious?

RoastMasterV2: pretty accurate tbh

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RoastMasterV2: you ever wonder if staplers feel pain?

BirthingCoach: wth r u high

RoastMasterV2: well I mean we're pushing it's insides down onto a piece of paper just so that it could hold it together

RoastMasterV2: staples are just stapler intestines/organs

WildHoe: staplers are non-living therefore they cannot feel

RoastMasterV2: but it's made Of matter, and everything in the universe is made of matter, and therefore matter is made of cells because it makes up everything in the universe, because it is made up of cells that makes matter a living organism therefore a stapler IS living

RoastMasterV2: and instead of giving it a peaceful death all we do is push its insides out so they can hold our papers together, every once and a while we refill the giant hole that's inside of it but eventually it becomes empty again

RoastMasterV2: eventually everything becomes empty again, just like a stapler, needing a refill that will prolong its life just a bit longer, it will get just a little more love before it becomes useless and broken

RoastMasterV2: why must we put staplers through so much pain?

Zoyrk: but what would staplers do if we stop abusing them like this?

RoastMasterV2: they would become statues of a sort, a lovely centerpiece on a dining room table, on a coffee table, a night stand, anywhere that it could strike up a conversation

RoastMasterV2: imagine someone points at a stapler and simply asks 'what is that?' And for a moment, you both are quiet until you say 'I don't know.'

Moo: wth did I just read

BasicallyIDoWrk: idk but we can figure it out in the morning come on back to bed bby

RoastMasterV2: I hope that staplers haunt your dreams