Ryden Hell: The Sequel

xxi

"Bren, what do you think I should do?" Ryan asks, breaking the silence they'd been sitting in for a little while.  "About this whole life or death situation?"

"Whatever you think is best," Brendon answers, not exactly sure how else to respond.

"Now isn't the time to get deep-"

"How was that deep?"

"I don't know, shut up and let me finish my sentence... I need like, actual advice here Brendon. I don't know what to do. I feel like whatever I do will be the wrong choice."

"Why do you feel like that?"

"Well, if I do decide to keep him alive, it'd only be with the help of machines and he'd probably be fucking miserable. But, I keep thinking that if I kill him it'll turn out that if I'd just waited like five more minutes he would've woken up."

"Ry, I hate to say this, but you know that's probably not gonna happen."

"Yeah, I know. And I fucking hate it, too... Honestly, I probably shouldn't be stressing or worrying over this so much. No matter what I do it won't change anything in the long run. He's gonna fucking die, anyway. He has fucking brain cancer."

"You should be worrying about it,  though. He's your father, you have every right to."

"I know, but I just feel like I shouldn't. It isn't helping anything. Its just slowing down the process of coming to whatever decision I make. Like, instead of just saying I'll do something, now I have to think of every possible out come. And its fucking annoying."

"I don't know, I think its kinda helpful to think of the outcome of shit."

"Not when each choice has about twenty different out comes, most of which can only come true in fucking Narnia or some shit, but your brain still keeps trying to convince you it could happen."

"I mean, at least it sounds kind of entertaining?"

"Not exactly what I'd call it, but sure. Entertaining."

"Well what would you call it then?"

"I dont know. Insanity, maybe. My brain cracking under the pressure of life is more likely, though."

"Damn, I thought that was only something that happened in high school."

"I fucking wish... But really, Bren. What do you think I should do? What would you do if you were in this situation? Cause I have no fucking clue what I'm doing."

"I don't know, man. Go with your heart?"

"Alright, well my hearts about ready to kill itself, so..."

"Okay, new plan, don't go with your heart. Um, I don't know. I think I'd kinda just want to get it over with, ya know? Like, it's inevitable, why not just put everyone out of their misery."

"That's... That's actually not a bad way to think about it. Wow."

"You agree with me? Shit, that's a first."

"Shut up, bitch."

"So, you wanna do it then?"

"Yeah. Yeah I guess I do."

"Now?"

"Honestly, the way my brain works, its now or never. So yeah, now."

"Alright then, let's go."

====
Ayyyye
Blaze it my dudes

My science test today isn't actually a test, its just to measure our "origami" skills
Whoever can roll the blunt fastest gets 10 bonus points

Shout out to that one girl in my history class whose birthday is today
She's bringing brownies and I'm betting my fucking life on the fact that they'll have weed in them

Anyways
Off the topic of weed
I've discovered that just simply looking at the lyrics to Lonely Moonlight makes me cry
So that's how my Thursday went

Did y'all know that uuuhh
I fucking hate ohio
I can't wait til I can get out of this hell state
We've had like one day of half decent weather since like October last year
Spring doesn't exist in ohio, its just winter all year round with the occasional days of 70 degrees but raining

Me: just the next few chapters won't be text based
Me, nearly twenty chapters later: *still dragging this shit out*

B i t c h
Stop 👏 taking 👏 off 👏 half 👏 points 👏 on 👏 literally 👏 all 👏 of👏 my 👏 writing 👏 assignments 👏
I

ts really fucking annoying
Just take off a full point or none at all damn

Truly the most flattering compliment (?)

So we're playing this song in 7/8 and I actually fucking hate it cause I have to play sleigh bells for part of it and the concert is in fucking may, sleigh bells shouldn't exist in may
But I also hate it cause its really fast, like 170 bpm, and this is the rhythm i have to play

And like
????
Its pretty much impossible to play sleigh bells that fast
So fuck my hand I guess