Ghungroo - The Siren Call of Lovers (#2)

Chapter 6 - What Makes Us Human

Chapter 6

"It's okay, Layla. You need not say anything. It was all there, a moment ago, on your face. I've seen that look plenty of times on the faces of other women that have been used and let down by Riaan. Didn't take much to guess as much."

Other women? There were other women like me?

Can I feel any more awful than I do now? Stephanie was right to call me a silly little girl...I remember Riaan using similar words on me too...Two people can't be wrong. I deserve everything that has happened.

"When he practically hijacked you from the reception room that night, it was pretty obvious what his intentions were with you. I should have known. Someone as beautiful as you...he wasn't going to leave you alone. Not until he had you.  Engaged or not, you were fair game to him. I should have stopped him...warned you at the very least...The bastard."

How do I react to these words? I feel like setting down my glass and running back to my room so that I can cry myself into a sorry stupor.

And let Riaan win?

This rogue thought creeps into my head out of nowhere.

Since when did Riaan turn into the enemy?

How things have changed in a matter of weeks, I have no idea. But I'm definitely not the same person I was before Riaan came back home that fateful night. There's a shift in me. I can't quite pinpoint it. But I feel different. I'm harder. Colder...No, I won't allow Riaan to turn me into a bitter person. I've already become cynical and reckless these past few weeks. He's taken a lot from me, but I won't give him all of me.

Tears start to slide down my face once more.

God, did he break me!

I feel Jack slip a hand around my waist...Just like he did that last time we were together...

My body tenses. He feels so different to Riaan. He smells different.

I have to stop with my obsession over Riaan. I need to stop comparing every person, every moment to him. He betrayed me...Remember that and feel the hurt. It's the only way to rid yourself of him.

Never again!

I force my body to relax and lean back into Jack. His body relaxes too and he pulls me into the warmth of him. It's soothing and I let him.

I think about Riaan's warning and what he said about Jack. That it was all fun and games with him and that he changed girlfriends as often as he did his underwear.

I smile wryly. Well, at least Jack's honest about his intentions. Little did I realize how those words applied to the very man that uttered them. If anyone was deceitful and dishonest, it was Riaan.

F#ck him! I need to get rid of his touch, his words, his memory. Wipe it clean off me!

And what better person to do that than his childhood nemesis.

Is that what I want? To get back at him? To hurt him the way he hurt me? Will he even care?

I don't have the answers to these questions. But Riaan has taken up far too much of my time. Wasted time...wasted emotions...wasted tears.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that side of Riaan, Layla. He's a nice enough guy... really he can be when he chooses to be. But even I have been victim to his competitive streak. What Riaan wants, Riaan gets. Rich, over-achieving, only child syndrome. It's the only way to describe him. When we were in high school, I fell in love with this girl, Tracey Michaels. It was young love. I loved her and she loved me. We were inseparable. I would have walked on hot coals for her if she had asked me to."

Jack's voice is soft and thoughtful as he recalls the youthful memory. There is a sense of loss in his words, and even before he can finish the story I begin to dread it's end.

"One day, I had just finished training for tracks. I was pretty good at tracks, you know."

He laughs slightly, absorbed in the memory from his boyhood. It makes me smile.

" I went to gather my stuff at the far end of the field where the bleachers were...that's when I saw them. Riaan and Tracey...kissing. And it was no ordinary kiss. They were really going for it. Third base, if you know what I mean. His hands were all over her." Jack barks out a laugh. He does not hide the bitterness that soaks his words.

"I couldn't believe it at first. I was in denial, I guess. Things were perfect between Tracey and I. In fact our parents had met the week before. Our relationship was sealed. And there she was in the arms of someone else. That someone else being Riaan who clearly knew that we'd been dating for three years by then. Riaan and I were close friends in a way. The competitive streak between the two of us was just good clean fun up until that point. Now I can't stand him...There's just some things you don't do."

He ends his story there. There's so many questions I want to ask. What happened to Tracey? Did he confront Riaan? Did he end things with his long term girlfriend? Did he demand an explanation?

But I don't ask. Asking will just frustrate me and take me down a different path in trying to make sense of the complexity that is Riaan. He is an enigma that I don't have the energy to figure out.

Besides, am I not guilty of kissing Riaan when he belonged to another? Am I not cut from the same cloth?

Stephanie could have easily found us locked in an embrace on the night of their engagement. In some ways her fury towards me is justified.

All is fair in love and war.

I'm seriously starting to doubt this proverb that Tina stands firmly with. Look at how messed up Jack is over a girl he lost in high school.

Yes, the heart has a mind of its own. Sometimes you cannot chose the people you love. Fate decides. But you can make choices. Choices with integrity and honour. It is what makes us human.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, more as an admittance of my own bad mistake than an acknowledgement of Jack's lost love.

His hold around my waist tightens and in that moment I feel a silent bond being formed between us.

We have both loved and lost. And we both owe our hurt to one man.

Riaan.

If anything, Riaan has connected the two of us.

Our hatred for him is so real and raw in this moment that it spurns us both into clinging to each other as though our lives depended on it.

Our hatred for Riaan is what binds us.

Up until this moment, I did not realize the full potential of the anger I feel for Riaan and what he did.

With every fiber of my being, I hate him.

Gosh wtf is wrong with Layla, right?!!! Even I feel like giving her a shake and telling her to wake up! ...Or, is she right in trying to get over Riaan?

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