Ghungroo - The Siren Call of Lovers (#2)

Chapter 57 - Getting Rid of Some Demons

Song Credit- Demons by Imagine Dragon

*This chapter needs editing.

18+++ Need I say more....

***Lots of swearing. Think my new favorite word is fuck. And if autocorrect could please stop changing it to 'duck' I'd be able to get chapters out much faster...Just saying...

Chapter 57

Riaan's POV

I should give her a minute to recover but I want her too badly.

Having her come all over my fingers now was too fucking much. The way she clenched and shuddered sent me over the edge. Fuck, I'm ready to explode.

But I need to calm down and play this right. I can't mess up and lose her all over again.

I practice the breathing techniques my psychiatrist, Dr Vadee taught me. I visualize on the things he taught me to do when sexual urges overtook my senses.

I've been in therapy ever since I left Layla. I've been cleansing my body, my mind, my soul of all of the toxic gunk I've accumulated over the years.

The change in me came when  Layla so readily offered to join me in my sordid world of sex orgies. I realized then that I couldn't drag her into that cesspool of deviant sexual behavior that I'd become accustomed to. It wasn't normal for her and sharing her with others was not an option. It never was. And even though I wanted, and still want only Layla, I couldn't trust myself not to do it again. I needed help. I knew it was time to change. It was time to put my demons to rest.

And even after I left her, I still wanted to change. I still wanted her to be proud of me one day, even though the chances of seeing her again was next to nothing.

In the last three years, I've talked myself through my many childhood upsets on Dr Vadee's couch and have since made peace with my father's affairs. I've learnt that I may carry his blood but that I am the maker of my own destiny.

With the doctor's help, I've discovered calming breathing techniques and yoga methods that have helped me through my addiction. Yes, I finally admitted that it is an addiction.

I've even travelled to India for a three month retreat. I spent time at a secluded shrine in the foothills of the Himalaya's where I spent time meditating and contemplating the meaning of life.

Such a cliché, I know. Layla's going to laugh and tease me about it when she gets wind of it. Rich peoples peculiarities she'll most likely call it, or some shit like that. Damn, if I didn't miss that smart mouth of hers. But I don't care. It did work.

I've never been good in total solitude and spending time with myself was life changing. I truly got to examine my inner spirit and love who I am. I've finally dig up and laid to rest my many hang-ups and am at a place in which I love myself.

I spent a shit load of money on all of these things but I'd like to think it has made me a better person. A better man for Layla. My Layla...Fuck. I love her. I'd do anything for this woman in front of me now. The power she has over me is frightening but I trust her completely.

I've not touched another woman since her. I couldn't. She has changed me. I've finally connected with that inner part inside myself that people talk about, but which has eluded me. And in the process I found my sanity and the meaning of life.

Not that I've become a saint. Fuck no. Let's just say that my right hand has become better developed than my left in the last three years. Jerking off to images of Layla has been my only release and I'm starting to think I may need help with that pastime too, now.