Ghungroo - The Siren Call of Lovers (#2)

Chapter 30 - Never Again

Chapter 30

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

I nod my head. No way can I voice my thoughts again. I've just asked him, in a round about way, to sleep with me - to get rid of the memory of Jack.

How fucking feeble am I? How down right pathetic.

We both need to purge.

He needs to feel in control. He needs to feel like he's bested Jack at his game. That he's won. And what other way than to sleep with me.

And I need to get rid of Jack doing those things to me. It was my last intimate experience, even if it was an unwanted one, and I need to get rid of it. What better way than to wash it away with the person I love? Yes, I can deny it, I can suppress it, I can do whatever the hell I want but there's no denying that I love Riaan. It has always been him and only him.

Yeah, pretty messed up. Am I a degenerate? A sicko?

But I can still feel Jack's hands on me, still smell cherry tobacco and orange citrus. Riaan could make me forget. I know he can.

I really don't think this is the therapy Dr Peurdo suggested, but who cares. I want this.

"Do you even know what you're asking for Layla? I can't... I promised Rahul to keep my hands off of you."

"You what?"

When did he speak to Rahul?

The thought of my brother kills any sort of desire that was on the back burner for me.

Rahul...I haven't spoken to him in weeks. My heart aches at the thought of my brother. Does he know everything?

Dammit! Why did Riaan have bring up my brother now?

"I had to Layla. Things were in too deep. Too much has happened. You guys are close. He's my best friend. He deserved to know."

"You told him everything?"

"I told him everything."

I fold my arms across my chest. Geez, Riaan really knows how to kill a moment.

"And?"

I glare at him. Well, this is news to me. How can he just say that and not go into detail.

"He's angry as expected. He trusted me. I've let everyone around me down. Seeing his trust in me falter is the hardest thing I've had to deal with."

"Well, what did he say?"

"He's disappointed in us...in me more so. And I can understand why. I did tell him it was all my fault. That I initiated everything, that I took advantage of you, and of the situation."

Riaan sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. It's a habit of his I've noticed when he's stressed and thinking.

"Of course, he called me a rich spoilt bastard that has had everything handed to me on a silver platter. I guess he's not too far off the mark with that one. I have been spoilt but what people don't realize is that my inherited wealth has worked in more ways against me than for me. What Riaan Zietman wants, he gets. That's what people think I'm about. He called me a selfish prick. Said I've taken what's most important to him. That I'll never know the value of family. That I have no values- or substance. Guess I deserve it. But hearing it was hard."

"Did he end your friendship?"

I hope not. I am also to blame for this. Not like I didn't know what I was doing. I wanted Riaan. Wanted to do those things with him.