The Downfall of Zhan Zheng Xi

Chapter Forty Four - It's not over until it's over

After they had a lazy shower together, soaping off their sweaty bodies. Jian Yi scrubbed Zhan Xi from head to toe and Zhan Xi loving washed Jian Yi inside and out.

Relaxed they remembered to clean up after themselves in the bathroom, washed the dirty sheets (Jian Yi's mom would be proud!) and put clean fresh sheets on Xi's bed before they collapsed in them, replete and exhausted. Zhan Xi flopped onto his back and Jian Yi tucked under his arm and snuggled into his side.

"Xixi...........". Jian Yi sounded tired,his eyes sliding shut.

"Hmm?" Zhan Xi's eyelids drooped, his body was blissed out.

"I loved kissing you, you're surprisingly pretty down there." Yi voice was drowsy, he was on the cusp of falling into sleep.

"......................". Zhan Xi raised his fist and bashed Yi on top of his head.

"Owww! Xixi is so violent!" Jian Yi rubbed his head in the dark.

"You always say the most amazing things stupid Jian Yi!" Zhan Xi covered his eyes with his forearm, he was sure his bright red face was visible in space.

"It was pretty and small. It's mine now, nobody else has seen you there but me." Jian Yi grinned triumphantly, his voice sounded proud and possessive.

"Just shut up Yi, time to sleep, even idiots need their rest." Zhan Xi rubbed Yi head where he had bashed him gently. He was pleased it was dark so Yi couldn't see his gentle grin. His boyfriend never ever did what he thought he'd do, Yi was always a kooky weird shit and he loved that about him.

"Goodnight Xixi." Jian Yi leaned over and kiss Xi's lips gently.

"Goodnight Yi." He sighed, content with Yi's warm body tucked beside him.

===========================

Jian Yi woke in the middle of the night, sweat was pouring from his skin making the sheets damp and uncomfortable. He sat up and his hand flew to his chest, he felt like he was dying! His heart was racing so fast, it felt like there was a tight leather belt strapped around his chest and it was squeezing the air from his lungs. He couldn't breath! He couldn't catch his breath, every time he tried to draw in air he felt the band tighten even more.

"X...". He couldn't get Zhan Xi's name out of his mouth, he was gasping futility. A wave of anxiety and panic washed over him. Yi tried to tap Xi's shoulder and managed to brush his hand against Xi skin.

"Hmm Yi? Again? I'm pretty tired but maybe if you get on top that would wo........ Jian Yi!" Xi woke up properly when he saw the look of utter terror on Jian Yi's face. His hands were moving over his chest, and then he grasped his throat, Zhan Xi belatedly notice Yi's ragged desperate breathing.

He knelt in front of Jian Yi and grabbed his shoulders firmly. Yi's terrified eyes locked on his and the way they swung about and rolled made Zhan Xi's brain click into place.

"Jian Yi listen to me." He talked in a very calm voice, he used his hands to gently bring Yi closer to his body. He knew what to do.

"I......can't.......breathe......". Yi gasped out the words barely.

"You need to listen to my voice and look at me okay?" Zhan Xi looked Yi in the eye and was relieved when he finally gazed at Xi.

"......gonna......die......". Jian Yi clawed at his throat.

"You're not going to die, and if you listen carefully to me we can get your breathing under control, okay?" Zhan Xi cupped Yi face and stroked his wet cheek where panicked tears streamed.

Jian Yi nodded his head barely.

"Okay what I want you to do is try and slow your breathing down, control it. It's simple listen, breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, 1.....2.....3.....4". Zhan Xi counted out the numbers and was relieved when Jian Yi started to draw his breath in like Xi had told him.

"Great good job, now I want you to hold your breath for 7, 1.....2....3....4....5....6....7." Jian Yi gripped his hands hard, but Xi watched carefully to make sure he was holding his breath properly.

"Now exhale for a count of 8 in a slow whoosh. 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8. Good now keep doing that Yi. I'll do it with you okay?" Xi smiled at Yi giving him some encouragement.

Seconds ticked away and the room was filled with sounds of inhalation, pause and
whooshing exhalation. Zhan Xi made Yi do them over and over until his face began to relax as air filled his lungs and oxygen flooded his blood stream.

"How are we doing? Is it better?"
Xi stroked Yi face lovingly.

"Yes......thank you Xixi." Jian Yi burst into messy, noisy tears, it was like a rush of something was leaving his body via the tears.

Zhan Xi pulled his boyfriend into his arms and held him while he wept. That was a hell of a panic attack, his sister used to have them when she first started middle school. She had been bullied by some older students and at times she refused to go to school and when it got bad she would have these panic attacks. Zhan Xi's mum had shown him how he could help his sister, he was well versed in bringing someone back from the feelings of anxiety and stress.

Zhan Xi rubbed Yi's back up and down, up and down, he tried to send calming vibes through his gentle touch. When Yi's sobs slowed to a sniff he pushed him away and cupped his face in his hands.

"Yi you're here with me, you can stay here in my arms and be safe with me always. I'll always be here for you when you need me." Zhan Xi drew Yi in for a hug.

"How did you know what to do?" Jian Yi had major hero worship shining from his eyes (well even more so that usual!). It was like a cow had been sitting on his chest and his lungs felt like he had ran a marathon.

"My sister used to have similar things happening to her as well, I learned how to help her through them. Most people think they're having a heart attack, but it's just your brain fucking with your sensors into thinking you're under attack and it goes into 'fight or flight' mode." Zhan Xi stroked Yi's hair and tucked it behind his ear.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Zhan Xi tugged Yi back until they lay down again together.

"No I don't think so, I just woke up and It felt like something horrible was going to happen, it felt like a ton weight had dropped on me and I couldn't get it off. That was scary." Jian Yi's voice was horse.

"It's alright Yi, its over now" Xi stroked his hair to comfort him. It seemed like Jian Yi was relaxing back into his arms.

"I'm suddenly tired." Yi yawned, his body had used so much adrenaline he must be exhausted.

"Sleep, it's okay." Xixi kissed his forehead in that loving way of his and Jian closed his eyes and slept.

"Poor Jian Yi". Zhan Xi lay in the dark, worrying about his beloved friend.