Martyr's Love (GXG)

Chapter Forty Five

Cams

I rush myself to the hospital as I heard the news...

My heart is pounding like crazy... Kinakabahan ako as I walk to the hall way towards the emergency room.

"A..ate Ni..nics.." na uutal utal kong sabi habang nakita ko siyang nakatayo sa may gilid ng pinto ng emergency room na puno ng dugo ang damit niya.

Ramdam ko ang lungkot at takot sa mga mata niya na tumingin sa akin...

At para akong nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko... as those fear run over to my system..

She slowly walk towards me.. and hug me.. her hug seems like asking for strenght.. that in any moment.. bibigay na siya..

"Camille.." ramdam ko yung bigat sa boses niya kasabay ng mahinang pag iyak nita..

Never ko pang nakitang naging ganito si Ate Nicole... I never see her breaking down like this..

Hindi ko namalayan na tumulo na din pala ang luha ko... 

Kasabay ng isang mahigpit na yakap na ibinigay ko sa kanya.

Eunice

Masakit na mawala yung taong mahal mo... masakit... na parang dinudurog ang puso ko ngayon...

That day when I let her go.. that day na sana hindi ko na lang ginawa... 

And now.. she's gone.. totally gone in my life... 

That moment when she kiss me... i should just hug her.. just for a minute... as what I had thought that time... Maybe this will be different..  hindi sana ngyari kung ano man ang ngyari...

"Eunice...." tawag sa akin ng isang pamilyar na boses kaya agad akong napalingon..

There he is.. standing... smiling at me.. but I know behind those smile.. I see sadness.. 

The same way I am feeling right now. 

"What are you doing here Ton?" agad kong tanong sa kanya.. 

As he starts to walk and stand next to me.

"Just like what are you doing." sabi niya saka tumingin sa direksyon na kanina ko pa tinitignan... "Why it has to happened Eunice?" 

Ibinaling ko ang tingin sa kanina ko pa tinitignan. 

Naka tingin lang ako dun...

"Aren't you move on yet?" Tanong niya sa akin

I smile weakly at that though

"How can I move on to someone who mean the world to me? How can I move on if all I ever dream is to be with her forever?.. How can I move on if every time I close my eyes all I ever see is her?... her perfection.. sa tingin mo.. how can I move on from that?" I pause as I take deep breath "you know what? Every day... I am regretting that day... that day when I let her go... Everyday I'm telling myself sana hindi ko yun ginawa.. Coz maybe things will be different... Siguro hindi siya uuwi sa bahay nila at hindi niya malalaman na aalis si Cassy that day... Siguro kung hindi ko yun ginawa.. Sana kasama natin siya.. Nakikita natin yung mga ngiti niya.. Pero hindi.."

"Stop it Eunice." Narinig kong sabi nito as i look at him "stop blaming yourself for what happened. Wala kang kasalanan." I know he is trying to comfort me. 

I just look back to what I am looking awhile ago..

"Gusto kong sisihin ang may gawa nun.. But I can't help it... a part of me is blaming myself too.... Mas gugustuhin ko pang masaktan ako.... While looking at her looking at Cassy with pure love in her eyes... Kasi alam ko kahit papaano andito lang siya.. Kesa ganito ang ngyari.. Kasi ngayon wala akong magawa.. Pilitin ko man ang sarili ko wala akong magawa...Kahit anong gawin ko I can't bring her back to life.. Walang ibang makakagawa nun kung hindi siya lang."

Cams

Its been months now... But everything seems to be dark and gray. Everything seems to be so dull.. Lifeless...

Passed months was hard... We had been through alot... And I can't even imagined that we've been through those moments...  

Sa ilang buwan.. pakiramdam ko I had experienced different emotions.. 

After the incident ay agad ding nahuli kung sino man ang may pakana ng pamamaril.

And it was a shock to all of us that it was Gab. 

Siya ang nag utos na ipabarili si Andy.  

He said he wanted revenge.... Gusto niyang gumanti sa ginawa ni Andy sa kanya noon... Sa pag papakulong nito... Isa pa.. He said wants Cassy back...

But I guess his plan turns differently and now he is behind bars. And no one have a plan to let him go away for what he did.

For what he did.. he made our life misserable for the passed months... 

At hindi ko siya mapapatawad kahit kelan.

"Hey.." tawag ko sa babaeng nakaupo dito sa buhanginan.

She's been doing this for quite a long time now...  Just seating her watching the sunset.

Hindi niya ako nito nilingon kaya umupo na lang ako sa tabi nito.

I just sit next to her while just watching the sunset.. 

no speaks until she broke the silence.

"The last time I got the chance to be with her is when we watched the sunset together." she starts to speak kaya hinayaan ko lang. I'm always been her listener..  Nakikinig lang ako sa kwento niya kahit na paulit ulit lang. I just let her... coz I think this is her way to cope up from all the things that had happened.. " I remember when we were holding hand that day.. I know it was wrong that time.. but it feels so right Cams.. it feels so d@mn right.. knowing I am holding the hand of the girl I love." she stop. Then there is a long silence kaya lumingon ako sa kanya. Then I see tears falling from her eyes. I raise my hand and wipe those tears away. I see smile that form to her lips but I know behind those smile there is pain.. there is longiness.. "Sabi niya I can watch sunset with her... Ang daya daya naman niya eh..."  then she starts to cry... 

I can't help but to feel her while look at her.. I cannot bare to see her hurt like this.. I wonder what she did wrong to be hurt like this. Hindi ko alam kung bakit paulit ulit na lang siyang nasasaktan ng ganito. I know.. she doesn't deserve any of this.. she doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. 

"Cams mahal na mahal ko siya.. Pero bakit kailangang mangyari lahat ng to." I feel she's crying her heart out "Cams ang sakit sakit na." I pull her into a hug. 

I wish I could take away her pain...

But I know I can't..

All I can do is this.. HUg her.. make her feel that she's not alone...

Make her feel that I am her..

Her Best friend.

"Taha na Andy.." Sabi ko as I tried not to sound in pain too sa nakikita ko sa kanya "Cassy will not be happy pag nakikita ka niyang ganito."

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Boom Update!

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PS:

Isang singit pa po...

Let's all pray for the victim of Bagyong Glenda..

And also dun sa pinasabog na Malaysian Airlines..