Because Of You-Solby Fan Fiction

Chapter 25

Sams POV

I had been on edge ever since brennen came over, but Colby would very easily distract me from my personal thoughts. It was him or angel really, which was good. I was mostly holding angel walking around or feeding her or playing with her trying to get her to laugh and smile, which made forgetting about Brennen easier. But whenever Colby put her to bed and left me along my brain went right into the dark place.

'He loves him not you.' The voices would snark at me 'he's gonna take angel from you and leave with Brennen. He's way better off without you, both of them are. He took pity on you in high school and he can't do it anymore. He needs someone like him, someone who will KNOW how to take care of his baby. He regrets getting pregnant from you, he wishes it was brennen, he wants brennen to marry him, to be his, to protect him. You are nothing, you are worthless'

"I know." I sobbed quietly one night while Colby was rocking Angel to sleep. "I know I know I'm nothing." I mumbled before I got up and found Colby's knife. I pocketed it and walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind me before I leaned against the tub. I flipped open the blade and looked at it with sad eyes.

'Do it!' The voice rasped eagerly. 'I know you want me to leave you alone. You know it's close enough to death for now. Do it damn it! Do it!'

I started to cry silently as I ran the blade along my left wrist.

"He doesn't love me" I whispered, then ran the blade over my right wrist. "She doesn't love me" then again over my left wrist. "I'm not good enough" then my right "he deserves Brennen not me" once I had done that I closed the blade and cried silently. The only pain I felt was a dull sting on my wrists and the deep throbbing in my heart. I wanted it to stop, the thoughts the pain the worry the loathing, at least for now the voices were pleased. As I lay there crying my phone buzzed. I gingerly picked it up and saw a text from an unknown number.

'You know I'm better for him. That he deserves me not you. That Angel would be better in my care, even if she is your child. They deserve someone like me to take care of them' I only cried harder as I responded.

'He does. They both do. I'm nothing, never have been never will be.' He didn't respond for a good twenty minutes. Then I got a call.

"What?" I asked my voice shaking.

"Dude what's wrong with you? What happened?"

"Like you give a crap what happens to me." I hissed with new tears in my eyes. "If I die you get my babies, if I don't then you still get my babies because there's no way they truly love me" He was silent and I was about to hang up but there was a sound of him getting in the car.

"I know I can't tell you to do something stupid. I have a feeling you already have but don't do anything else. I'm coming over now. And texting Colby." Before I could say anything else he ended the call. I looked at the phone blankly before dropping it to the ground. I had tears sliding down to my face. He was coming to take my babies. He would take Angel and Colby away from me so I could kill myself. So everyone would be happy. I reached over to pick up the knife again when there was banging on the door.

"Sam?" Colby called through the door and I heard the nerves in his voice. "Baby please, open the door."

"Don't even bother" I mumbled loud enough for him to hear me. "You don't need to fake it anymore. I know Brennen's coming here to take you two to a better life. You don't love me and neither does Angel. So stop hurting yourselves and go be happy." I was sobbing now and I was holding the knife. "I'm gonna end it anyway so you don't have to do this to yourself anymore"

"No! God please don't do anything. Don't take your life away from me please" he sounded like he was on the verge of tears but I had a feeling he was faking. Then there was footsteps, faint ones that I didn't really care about. I looked at the knife, drowning out the noise and closed my eyes as I slowly lifted the blade to my throat. I took a deep breath and slowly started to drag the blade across my throat as the door was thrown open and the knife was ripped from my hand before I could do some actual damage. I started to sob as I heard faint crying.

"God why would you do this? Why baby you know we love you." I opened my eyes slowly and saw Colby above me, crying and Brennen was standing in the doorway looking at me with pain filled eyes.

"You know this it my fault" I heard brennen say but Colby wouldn't look away from me. "It's my fault and I can't do anything to fix it. But there is an ambulance on the way" Colby nodded and gently caressed my cheek as he held me close to him, tears streaming down his cheeks while his bangs hung in front of his face.

"Just hang on baby. It's gonna be okay, your gonna be okay. Angel and I aren't going anywhere and neither are you" I cracked a soft smile as I reached up and gently caressed his cheek.

"I love you.....don't lie to yourself for my sake....please."

"Sam I'm not lying to you. We love you we need you. I protected you for a reason, I helped you for a reason. I saved you once and I'm gonna save you again." I laughed softly before I closed my eyes and slipped into a silent, dark bliss.

I'm so sorry for the sad chapter guys I cried writing it but I hoped y'all enjoyed it.