Guns and Roses

FORTY-NINE

♛Cameron Dawson♛

I don't get to say goodbye or kiss her good luck before she's being wheeled into theatre, leaving me behind to watch the panicked nurses rush around her. I stand in the hallway where she's disappeared through and feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness wash over me.

I only turn around when I hear frantic yells from behind me. When I glance over my shoulder, I see Olivia running up to me while her face is arranged in a scowl.

"You!" She yells, pointing a finger at me when she's up close. "This is all your fault!" She shouts, her face red and rage evident. "You... you're the one who taught her to race." Olivia rams a fist into my chest but her words manage to hurt more. "You- you..." her hands fly around in frustration while she tries to find her words but soon enough she's bursting into tears. "I can't lose her."

I embrace her in a hug, one that silences her rage and accusations but brings about a wave of sobs that make her body rack up and down. I rest my cheek on her head, the tears in my eyes not willing to fall. I wish I would cry. It would make me feel better.

Olivia and I push all resentment and dislike for each other aside as we cry for the one girl we both love and care for so deeply. No more words are uttered and no more anger is present. The only things we both feel is sorrow, so much sorrow that I almost want to bash my head against the wall to make it go away.

As we stand in the hallway, I wonder if Harley will ever be returning out from it.

****

Seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours. It's like time crawls,  sardonically torturing us. Olivia stays slumped over in her chair, her head rested in her hands. Her cries stop for a little before they come back but I don't shed a tear.

I feel numb. Like everything is falling apart and I have no way to put it back together. My girlfriend is in theatre, fighting for her life and Frank- the bastard who caused this- is still running around. I stare straight ahead and wonder what news they'll tell us when the doctor walks out of those doors.

Will he say he tried his best? That there was nothing more they could do?

My hands itch to break something.

I can't lose Harley. She's the only person who has seen me for me and accepted me like that, allowing me to embrace it. She's the reason I wake up every morning, the reason I love the colour blue. Harley is my oxygen and I'm afraid that without her I'll be as good as dead.

Footsteps are heard before Caleb and Audrey rush in. I stand to my feet the minute I see them and Audrey immediately takes me into a hug. Her words are one big blur that I don't manage to make out. She pulls apart for just a second and Caleb is soon wrapping his arms around me.

I can feel the sympathy radiating from his body and I just want this to be over.

"I'm so sorry man." He says and I nod, turning back.

"You must be Harley's mom?" Audrey asks Olivia and she nods.

"Yes. You are?"

They both introduce each other and after Olivia tells Audrey what the doctors said over the phone- that Harley has a good chance of not making it- Audrey's waterworks break loose too. Caleb is holding her immediately and soon enough Mason And Samantha are zipping towards me as well.

Mason's eyebrows draw together in worry. "What happened?" He asks, pulling me in for a brief embrace. I shake my head, my eyes glancing around. Now isn't the place or time to discuss this.