You don't control me, Dixon

➋ 40: The F-word

♤

As I push eggs around on my plate as the others eat. Alec nudges me and I offer him a smile but his worried frown only deepens.

I close my eyes. I'm tired and I want to go to sleep, but I couldn't last night. Alec noticed my tossing and turning, so without any words, we stayed up with my head in his lap.

I must have only dozed as he ran his hand through my hair seeing that the sky was only brightening but when he got us up for breakfast it was light.

I'm happy that he apologized. I honestly don't know what I would have done last night if I was still mad with Alec.

Though to be honest, I wasn't angry in the end but just was tired.  I'm glad that I could be calmed down by him and that he's finding happiness with Daryl. But Daryl.

Stupid Bitch.

That's what he called me. Daryl and my dad. I glare up and around the circle to find Daryl poking at his own food, glancing up at Alec who smiles shyly back at him.

I lose my glare and nudge Alec. He looks over only to find my smug smile. Red creeps up his throat as he pushed me gently. I bounce back and bump shoulders with him.

I survey the group and find two people doing the same as me. Glenn, who was sweating slightly and looking between Dale and someone from the house.

The other is Daryl. Daryl then glances at me but I look back down at my food. I need to go on a run for meds.

A clearing of a throat makes me look up to Glenn. He wrings his hands before he sighs and practically bursts "Um, guys. So The barn is full of walkers."

Gasps and small whimpers erupt from the young and women as a moment of silence fell over us as people's plates were thrown or dropped as Shane took the lead running to the barn with everyone following behind.

I slid to a stop next to Alec and watch as Shane peered in the walker barn only to jump back as the walkers slam against the door.

He whirls around and yells in Ricks face "You cannot tell me you're all right with this."

Rick rose his hand to try to calm him as he soothed "No I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land."

He scoffs and roars "This is our lives!".

Rick rubbed his temples as Carl clings to Lori the mother hissing "Lower your voice. You're scaring Carl."

I roll my eyes, I know that Shane thinks of Carl like a son - no he wants Carl to be his son, weirdly enough. But does Rick really think that Shane will stop his shit if he says this?

Shane pushed the doors making the walkers growl louder "We can't just sweep this under the rug. It ain't right. Not remotely."

As people stare at him in shock he sighs and lowers his voice "Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

I clench my teeth together to stop my self from snapping. Alec, noticing my muscles tensing, rests his hand on my shoulder. I jump slightly and look at him as Rick hisses slightly "We can't go."

Shane shakes his head and sighs angrily "Why, Rick?"

I watch as Carol blinks before explaining softly "Why? Because my daughter is still out there."

"Okay. Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility."

I shrug Alec off and snap "We're not leaving Sophia behind. We are close to finding this girl."