You don't control me, Dixon

➋ 51- I don't like this game

♤

I sigh and open my eyes to face a new day. I roll to my side, I need to get up. I turn on my stomach and bury my head in my arms, the world going silent again.

"Lassie!"

I groan softly and sit up, stretching as Alec pokes his head in the tent. He chuckled at my face and snarks "Ain't yer day ain't it?"

I huff and roll my eyes, snarling "Fuck off."

I watch as he gets out of my tent, I throw my legs over the edge and pick through my duffle, grabbing leggings and a v neck.

I slip them on and clip my rig on, slipping out of my tent only to find Alec and Daryl. I nod to them and glance at the car being loaded with Randall.

"Lass, Beth is having a hard time, mind helping her?"

I glance at the redhead and nod. I walk to the house quickly only to hear Maggie drag on Glenn.

I force a smile and say as I walk in "Glenn's a big boy. He makes his own choices"

I watch as Lori points and me and chuckles "Well spoken, then you-- do you have anything to apologize for? Tell him to man up and pull himself together"

I raise my hands and say as Lori places  the silverware on the plate "Just don't say 'man up'"

Lori nods and adds "Yeah, It never goes well. Well, Let me just get this to Beth. I got it."

I nod and watch as the mother walks up the stairs before glancing at Maggie. "I know he loves you."

She blinks at me and asks bewildered "How?"

I smile and sit in a chair, probing at my wrist through my cast "On the way to get your dad, he told us that you said the infamous three-word phrase, I love you."

She glances up mad and jolts to make a move, I shoot form my seat and grab her arms "Chill mama, he was thinking that you said it because 'he was the last man on earth'"

She huffs and shakes form my hold, I look at her and chuckle "He loves you and you love him, despite his attitude on it. Get the facts straight and don't hesitate to throw me under the bus for telling you. Deal with those facts and thank me when y'all live happily ever after."

I watch as she bites her lip before turning sharply and out the door. I smile and sigh, turning to a coffee mug. I glance in it and pick it up, filling it up with black coffee before making it a cream color.

I stir it as I hear Lori stomp down the stairs. I glance at her and freeze. Her face pale. I shoot from my seat and ask "What's wrong?"

Lori stares at me and mutters "Beth wants to kill herself."

My blood runs cold but I stiffly offer the woman "I'll stay with her, you find Maggie, she went outside to find Glenn."

She shakes her head and spouts "No, I'm fine-"

I sigh impatiently and snap "Listen, I've experienced what's that's like girly. I'm a peer in her age group, I'm more likely to get through to her. Get Maggie."

I push past her to up the stairs and open the door. I slow and take in the room, the curtains drawn and a still lump in the bed. I lick my lips and make my way around the room.

I righten a bottle of perfume on her dresser as I hear her mutter "What are you doing?"

I glance back and spot her upright in bed, her face slack.

I turn back and flatten a fold in the blanket as I talk "A messy room gas a connection with depression, as you fall in a rut the room gets messier and the depression gets worse and the room gets worse. It's actually an unending loop."

"How you know?"

I turn to face her and glance out the window, spotting Glenn and Maggie. I look at Bethy and lean against the tall dresser "When I was younger something happened to me and I was ready to end it all. I'm still depressed at times. It's a situational depression. It might seem like it's the end of the world but it's not. It's a phase."

She scoffs and murmurs "But your mom isn't dead."

I sigh and push off the dresser and sit on the foot of the bed facing her "My mom is dead. In the very start, she got shot down in front of me. I couldn't say bye. I couldn't say I love you. Where I was I couldn't lay down and cry over her. I'm not trying to say that my experience was any worse than yours but honey, slitting your wrists aren't worth it."

She sighs and lays back down, I close my eyes and wait silently.

It was only a couple of minutes until Maggie burst in as she exclaims "I won't let you."

I glance at her before looking at Beth before asking lowly "Want me to leave?"

Maggie sighs and nods. I slide off the bed and silently exit as Maggie starts to explode.

I shake my head and walk down the stairs silently. I brush my hair back and sigh, my brace catching a lock of hair.

I groan as I reach the bottom of my hairs and rip the hair out. I clench my teeth and stare at my mug of coffee absently as the door opens.

"Lucy? What's wrong?"

I glance up at Glenn and sigh "Beth wants to die."

"Oh."

I watch as he rounds the island and its next to me. "You ok?" I look over at him shrug "It is not me that wants to die."

He shifts and stares at me before saying seriously "But knowing your friend is feeling like that is heart-wrenching."

I lick my lips and avoid his eyes, staring at his unkempt fringe "I've never had a friend like her. I've never...had a friend. I've had acquaintances in high school but I ultimately ate alone in the library. I've never had to deal with anyone except me and my family."

I clench my teeth as he says "Well, you've got us now."

I chuckle and run a hand through my hair and he eyes my brace. "So you going to tell us what happened to you? You practically broke your wrist and you're bruised as if you fell down an eighty-foot cliff."

I smile and stare at him as I absently rub my throat saying softly "It's not broken it a mere fracture, plus even if I could tell you, you wouldn't be able to tell anyone else." he blushes and I smile "We all know how you are with secrets."

He nods but seriously asks "Are you still in danger?"

My mouth runs dry and I croak softly "I don't know."

He eyes me and nods as he places a tentative hand on my braced wrist "I can see you're getting better, but I can also see that you are worse. Now I know I'm not strong like Daryl or Alec...but I'm here to help protect you."

I cast my eyes at the casted arm and whisper "Thanks."

Guys in the week that I was writing this the story had exploded! I mean I took. Screenshot earlier in the week now look

Also, this is my only book publishing right now. If yall want I can post a pic of my stories and anyone you'd like me to start publishing I can.