You don't control me, Dixon

➌ 86 - The One Last Loving Person in my Life That Isn't Dead

♤

I needed to be in control and I got too angry.

I wasn't in control, I hate this! I hate this!

Pulling at my hair I press my back to the stone wall, pressing my palms into my eyes as stray tears escape.

Quickly, I grab on to my pants, panting into the quickly cooling air.

Relax, look at the sky.

'Lost control-'

The dark blues mixing with the glowing clouds.

'They know.'

What am I going to do?

'Die.'

No. That's the opposite of what I need to do. That will only prove their point.

Quickly, I hear a deep roar of Daryl getting angry before the wail of the baby.

I did this.

'We did this.' Shannon reminded.

Sobbing into the back of my hand, I shake like a leaf. How is that any different? If it is 'us', then we are ruining this group.

We aren't any help anymore.

'But now, you aren't alone!' The happy and innocent squeal of Claire makes me bite into my lip to hold back a weep.

I'm not alone.

Then a clang of bars slamming, and the door to the side of me opens violently. We watch as Daryl storms out, breathing under his breath, "That fucking bastard!"

He stares up at the sky as he swears, "You made meh promise, I don't know how-"

He leans against the chains and weeps silently.

We aren't alone, but we also have Daryl. And he needs us right now.

I stand and whisper with my arms out for him, "Dare?"

Daryl glances over for a second before falling into my arms. Each of us wailing our misery.

♤

As the sun makes its first introduction to our little scene on the catwalk. Daryl talking about his brother just to keep him alive until the next day and sitting with his legs out.

'Dare is soft!' Claire giggles for the millionth time tonight, however, we did end up getting her to admit that he is in fact not my dad.

Our head rests on his thighs as I laugh along with his brothers' stupidity.

"Yeh- I said that. He then turned, all wobbly like to the guy. The gurls pimp- I'll mind you- and said 'If yeh wanna take a bite, yeh betta come and kiss this lily-white ass!"

I giggle and smile, the soft oranges making Shannon comment on it being a nice day.

Content just to stay like this. Without a problem in the world.

Daryl pokes my cheek, asking lightly, "Aight, you've told meh of yer little boyfriend, his family. There's something else. Tell meh."

Glancing up at him I simply sigh "I would love to. But I can't even understand it myself. I can't even think of explaining this." I point to my head.

He frowns but I press the corners of his mouth up, apologizing softly, "I'm sorry, I don't want to worry you."

He grabs my hand and gives it back to me, slowly brushing out the knots in a strand of my hair, speaking carefully, "Right, then what about what yeh said to Rick when yeh seemed to snap into another person. 'Before you lose her'?"