You don't control me, Dixon

➋ 31: Memories of 'Papa'

♤

I look up at the stars as the glisten in the sky. I wonder if anyone is looking out for me.

I doubt it. I mean, if they were looking out for me then why would I be behind bars.

I sigh and hug my legs close to my chest. I look around my room and sigh. The same place. Bland and empty. Grey walls, grey everything. The only thing changing in this room is me, my scars, and my punishments.

I know this isn't normal, or he'd do it when my mum was here. Is she even alive? She's in the middle of the war, what if she died and left me with him? I yawn for the tenth time in the past hour and look back outside. Houses upon houses full of sleeping children and parents not knowing of the screams and agony's that occurs here.

I look at my bed hopefully but I know that I can't, I hear bottles chatter from outside my room. He's still awake. I'd rather be awake than not if he comes in here. If.

He's been drinking for a few nights and hasn't come in here. Hell, he hasn't opened the door since he started drinking three days ago.

A loud grumble that came from my stomach concurs with that statement.

I look at the clock that hangs on my wall and blink my gritty eyes at my bed. I rub my eyes and stand on my creaky legs.

As I make my way to the bed stationed in the corner, the doors lock snaps free and the door swings free.

I look over my shoulder as my father looms in the doorway, his body taking up the whole space.

I cower at the sight of his stumbling form as he comes near me. I close my eyes and wait for him to do something.

Suddenly I'm grabbed by my shirt and lifted. He brings me face to face with him and I can smell his rancid breath.

I stare blankly at him as he yells in my face. I could barely understand what he's saying he's so drunk.

I whisper in my head if he knows if he binges drinks like that he can die from alcohol poisoning.

Suddenly he throws me and I hit hard against my mirror and it shatters, the glass raining down around me.

I lift my hands and stare as blood wells to the surface. He grabs my wrist and yanks me to my feet, I hold my head low as I feel my back opening again as new cuts join them.

Not that it matters that I have new scars.

He drags me out of my dull room to the basement stairs and slams me against the wall making the glass dig deeper.

I wince as I think that I would not be able to get it out myself.

I'll need Sir Doctor. I feel stupid calling him that but he hasn't told me his name. It's quite aggravating seeing that he probably knows more about me than I do.

I guess ignoring my father and going into my head wasn't the best ideas seeing as his face was turning red.

He points at me and says something but I can't hear. What is going to happen, I know that he wants me to stay so that's what I do.

I watch with empty eyes as he opens the door to the stairs going to the basement and looks at me, then he grabs my arm and pushes me down.

I tumble down and lay motionless at the bottom. What's the point? I'm never getting out, he made sure of that.