You don't control me, Dixon

➋ 35: I Fucking Hate Funerals

♤

I look back over my shoulder and sit back down, smothering my anger and fixing a small smile on my face.

"You look like an angel" he whispers.

I smile and take his hand in mine as I hum. "Did you pet it?"

I look at him in confusion for a moment and lick my lips before mustering "No. Its
a wild animal, you never know what they are going to do."

He nods and his eyes close slowly then opened and narrowed on me. "Were you screaming?"

I look out the window and gulp nervously before slowly explaining "Well when I pulled you to me, the bullet went through my hip and into you. It hurt when it came time to getting it out, I was a coward."

I very lightly smack his shoulder and scoff "You did much better than I did."

He rolled his eyes and shifted painfully. I help him sit up just as the door opened. I paint an expressionless mask as I look back to see Rick.

He looks at me with a pained expression. I fluff Carl's pillow once more before standing stiffly and turning to him.

He waves me out of the room so I stiffly follow him as I pull at the bottom of my shorts.

We stay silent as he leads me down the stairs, with me rudely ignoring his hand to help me, and sat me in the lounge area.

I sit and stare out the window as I watch the sun inched its way into the sky. In the distance, a plume of dirt raced towards us.

The others are coming.

"Lassie, I am sorry, but ya kno' tha' it was needed'. I dinne thin-" Alec started but stopped as I ignored him. I hear him sigh but didn't see him reaching out till he was touching my arm.

I whirled out of his grasp and over the side of the couch. I scramble till I hit the wall and stared at him.

I don't want him to put me under again. The flash pain in his eyes made me look away. He didn't want to hurt me but he did and it was like I'm back to when he was a common face in my years of pain.

Then Rick crouched in front of me and raised his hands nonthreateningly. I stay in my corner til that old man came in with the pretty brunette.

She saw me in the corner -just as she saw me in just a bit ago- and rushed over, ignoring Ricks calls to stop. She kneeled in front of me and held out her hand.

I look at her face and saw no sign of malice. I hesitantly take her hand and allowed her to pull me up. She looks me over as I look around at the faces of men with my cheeks burning.

They are all looking at me with sympathy. I nod at her as she looks around and asks sarcastically "Well, we have a funeral to complete, let's not hang around and harass this poor girl. Alright?"

They sigh and left me alone with the young woman. I clear my throat, gaining her attention, and thank her "Thank you, for helping me out now and for the clothes. Though, I could use some clothes, and maybe my old stuff."

She looked me up and down and conceded. She ran upstairs and back down in a right jiffy and passed me a pile.

I offer her a quick smile and quickly strip and redress, ignoring her gawking at my scars, I know she saw them when she walked in on me showering so what's the point of being modest?

After I clip my rig on I pull the front of my hair into a quick bun and nod at her.

She sniffles and I look at her confused.