You don't control me, Dixon

➌ 80- The Selfless Need to Know its Okay to be Selfish Sometimes

Sorry it's a bit late, I got my wisdom teeth out and I am a little drugged up and I'm just in between meds rn. Thanks bye

♤

I stare into the walker infested fields from the catwalk, Daryl left a couple of minutes ago to grab food for us after I didn't move at the smell of food.

A car with Rick, Carl and that new black girl left through the inside fence and rode out to go somewhere to do something.

The door opens and I glance over, Glenn stepping out.

My back tenses and I keep my head straight as he clears his throat.

After I don't respond he sighs and speaks softly "Hey, can we talk?"

I peel my dry lips apart from each other, only licking the dry and flaky skin.

He moves in front of me and kneels "You've been quiet."

I finally glare up at him, is he serious? I've been silent since they chained me up for being bit, treated me like a dog and now they're worried?

I struggle to my feet and stare at him before rasping finally "I've been silent? I was just tortured, Glenn! My figurative dad just died, Glenn! I just killed my dad, Glenn! Memories of being fucking abused back in the forefront of my mind, Glenn!"

I scoff as he sighs softly "I was tortured too, look at my face."

So I do. Bruised and raw wounds. Eye squished closed.

I shift, my back twitching. It's selfish but I'm so tired of being selfless.

I sigh and huff "And I'm sorry that happened but I'm not going to compare pains with you. You wanted to know why I'm silent—" the door opens again but I continue "— so I told you. I'm done with this group, Glenn."

He furrows his brow as he whispers "Why? We try so-"

I groan and cut him off "No! No you haven't! I was socially pushed out of the group! I was left unsocialized for months without anyone caring if I died. Everyone but Alec and now he's dead! I was neglected!"

He shakes his head "No you weren't."

I scoff and glance at Daryl who is standing awkwardly.

I shake my head and seethe "I didn't have clothes that fit! I had to get my own food! I was practically surviving on my own!"

My voice breaks and tears well "And the only reason why you care now is because I still protect you all! I took Maggies punishment and killed walkers close to y'all when I could! And now you care? I'm done!"

He shakes his head and mutters a soft apology. After a second I hear something placed down and soft footsteps approaching us. I finally look away from him and gently press my back to the fence, staring at the surrounding woods.

Then as Daryl steps beside me, Glenn finally speaks again "I'm sorry, I- I just wanted to know what happened to Maggie."

I freeze and tears spill out of my eyes as I nod to the surrounding woods. Of course he doesn't care about what happened. He just wanted to know what happened to his girl. I was just a mean to his wants.

I lazily look at him and sigh tiredly as I lean against Daryl, "Ask Maggie."

He tenses and rolls his shoulders "She won't tell me-"

I scoff and Daryl tenses "Then fuck off, I took what ever punishment Philip was going to do to her but I don't know what happened to her after I was dragged out. That's all I know."