You don't control me, Dixon

➌ 79- Cat Walks are Meant for Fashion, Not Tears and Family Bonding

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The moon was visible in the high, barred windows by the time soft snores were echoing around. Anyone up wouldn't be able to hear my antics.

I stand, quickly crossing over to where the worn and bit belt was, still on the table with the small metal bowl for fire, dark with soot.

I grab the now dried bloody rags and place them in the bowl, a low grunt coming from Merle's separated area "What are you doing kid?"

I ignore him and light the bowl, the end of the metal pole stuck in the flames flickering on the edges of the metal bowl.

The scent of burnt skin renewing in a storm of smoke. "Hey, kid."

The tip of the poker burns red hot. Staring at the wooden handle before I take it in my hand, lifting but so the cool light gleams on the cooled part.

I glance at my bared arm before pressing the bit belt in my mouth as the tip dips into the soft of my wrist, the black ink sizzling.

I grunt and press it harder a harsh whisper echoing from Merle. Twisting the tip I drag the tool.

I finally pull the now cooled tool away and stare at the burned skin, blood slowly seeping, the only thing left of the brand was the name 'Alsurelin Immunide' and the '-1'.

I stare at it as I mindlessly hold a hand to my ribs.

If it worked on my wrist, then maybe it will work on my chest. The crooked letters.

The dreams of my father sitting his large body on my own. Thinking that my pelvic bone would be crushed.

The fishing knife digging shallow in my skinny chest. Screaming and cries ripping from my throat.

"Lucy!"

I flinch and stare at the wide-eyed man. "What are you doing?"

I place the pole back in the bowl to heat up and stare at the man, my mind blank and silent, "Burning..."

He presses his forehead to the bars "Yeah, I see that. Don't-"

I shake my head, my eyes suddenly filling with tears "I need to get rid of it"

He tries to open the door but it's locked "Kid- don't-"

I walk to the cell door, facing him "I'm fine". I pull the fabric and it covers him.

I walk back and place the belt in my mouth quickly pulling Alecs shirt and my bandages before pressing the pole to my chest.

I let out a loud grunt before clenching down and muffling it. I drag it across my ribs as I feel hot, boiling blood. Fire pushing in and out like waves. The heat taking my eyes for seconds at a time.

I find the end of the ribcage and drop the pole with a clatter. Daryl's distinctive snoring stopping.

I quickly gather all my belongings and quickly open Merle's cage before closing behind me. Merle stares at the blood dripping down my abs before stepping back.

I push past him without a twitch and exit. The cool, damp morning air encasing me.

Climbing into the catwalk I sit with my back to cold metal. The fresh edges screaming.

I press my head to the brightening sky, streaks of gold and maroon. I sigh and press a hand to my chest taking a hesitating breath. I grunt softly as it twinges but force another.

God, Mama is gone.

Finn is gone.

Alec is gone.