Secret Deception (Jonathan Black's Love Story)

Chapter 37: I Surrender

"An I Surrender ceremony is a private ceremony between a couple where they share and surrender their secrets and burdens with each other." Our wedding officiant, Kyle Knight, said at our meeting.
"With just us?" Jonathan asked taking my hand.
"Sometimes a couple will request a mediator but normally this particular ceremony takes place in a private room with just the couple." Kyle answered.
"A private room here or is this something we can do at home?" I asked.
"You can do it at home. I just find it important to have no secrets between a couple."
"I think I can speak for both of us when I say we agree." Jonny said looking at me.
I nodded.
When we got home Jasmine was working on the desktop computer in the corner of the room.
"What are you up to?" I asked walking over to her.
"I'm trying to fill out these applications but I don't really have any references." She sighed
"I can see how that would be a problem. I'm related to you so you can't use me. Call Dina and see if she'll give you one. It's only been a month but they might not even call." I suggested touching her shoulder before walking into the kitchen where Jonathan wandered off to.
"What are you thinking, love?" I asked.
"Just thinking about that ceremony we need to do."
"What about it?"
"If you'll still love me when you hear it."
"Is it that bad?"
"I don't know, maybe. I know you tell me everything."
"There is one big thing I haven't told you." I said.
He tilted his head slightly to the side.
"Why don't we do the ceremony in the bedroom tonight? Jasmine will already be in bed or I can call Dina and see if she can take her out for a few hours?"
"I would feel better if the house was empty."
I nodded.
After dinner Dina came over to pick up Jasmine.
"You call when you're done so we know it's safe." Dina said with a smile.
I glared playfully at her as they left.
"Ready?" I asked Jonny after I'd locked the door behind them.
"As ready as I can be." He forced a smile.
Together we walked up to the bedroom and both sat cross legged on the bed facing one another.
"So, I guess we just tell each other any secrets or burdens we have and decide if we can move forward with those?" He asked.
"I don't see how we wouldn't be able to. We've gotten through a lot together." I said.
"Okay... Uh... Who starts?" He asked.
"Uh... I guess I can." I breathed.
"Do you remember when your father started letting you and Cam do your own shows?" I asked.
"Of course. We were like 16."
"Right. I was 11 upstairs in the Archive. I didn't even hear him come back in. I was making food in the kitchen when he grabbed me by my ponytail and tossed me into the wall. He pressed his body against mine, growling in my ear. I tried to push him away but I wasn't strong enough." I began, my voice shaking as I went on.
"He grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me down the hallway. I wanted to scream but I was terrified. He pulled me down the stairs into the basement. He slammed me against the wall where the shackles were. He got really close to me, I could smell his breath as he said, 'If you scream I'll chain you up right here and force you to watch me kill him.' My breath caught in my throat. He tossed me toward the middle of the room and pinned me down when I fell." I could feel my tears rolling down my face as I spoke.
"After he raped me he looked right into my eyes and told me, 'If you tell him or anyone about this I'll kill you both, slowly.' I got dressed after he left and went up to your room to wait for you." I couldn't look at him anymore.
"You never told me. Even after he died." He whispered.
"It wasn't the only time. I did everything I could to stay as close to you as I could but everytime he put you and Cameron on stage he'd attack me. Every fiber of my being told me to tell you but I couldn't risk you. I couldn't shake knowing that if I told you, you'd confront him and he'd hurt you."
"Baby. You were 11 years old. How long?"
"Until he died when I was 15."
Jonny reached for me and pulled me closer to him.
"After he died I was so scared that you'd be mad at me for hiding it for so long that I never told you." I murmured into his skin.
"No part of that is your fault, you know that, don't you?" He asked softly.
"I don't know anymore, Jonny."
"My father was a bastard and he hurt you. That's on him, not on you."
He paused.
"I let him die." He told me.
"I didn't kill him but I didn't do anything to help him either. When he fell off that rafter and broke the stage falling to the floor underneath with that beam through his chest, I was underneath waiting for that trick he had us do and he reached for me. Everything he'd ever done to me or Cameron flashed through my mind as I stood there and watched him die. I feel like such a terrible person but in my heart I couldn't save him after all the pain and terror he'd put us through."
I held him tighter to me and I could tell we both felt lighter; our secrets out in the open between each other. I could never be upset with him over his confession. Not with everything his father had done to him, to me, to Cameron.
Sebastian deserved worse than what he got.