Jamilton Oneshots // Hamilton ✔️

Camp [JAMILTON]

There is an odd story associated with why I'm at this de-gaying camp. It all probably started when I came out.

\\flashback//

"I'm gay." I muttered to my father. I was looking down, but not because I was ashamed. No, I was proud and full of pride. I was more scared of my father's face. My mother died in a hurricane, along with my brother. There was no one left to help me if he reacted terribly.

"No son of mine is gay." Was the first thing he said to me, after what seemed like centuries later. I nodded, still looking down.

He walked away, obviously too mortified to even hit me. I stayed put until he left the room.

My father didn't speak another word to me... until I brought back my first boyfriend.

~~~

"This is James. James Reynolds." I introduce my boyfriend, smiling. I met him on Grinder.

"And what is your relationship like?" My father asks, staring daggers at James, not even looking at me.

"Frie-" I begin.

"Dating." James finishes.

My father hit me that night.

James did too after I told him we should break up.

My father sent me to the Christian camp known to 'cure gayness' after that situation with James. I'm sort-of broken right now, but not quite. Like a tooth that could fall out if you took just one bite of an apple or piece of soft bread. James really hurt me, along with my dad.

My arms are lined with self harm scars, some new some old. My father knew about them, but didn't bother to get me a therapist or even address the problem.

Now, here I am.

Broken, hurt, and trying to go to sleep in a cabin.

My cabin partner hasn't gotten here yet and I'm honestly curious about what kind of guy he is and what his sexuality is. I don't think these people understand that you can't change who people like, you can only change their beliefs. I hope the people here are strong enough to not let that affect them.

Suddenly, I hear a creak. I shoot up from my bed and look at the door, surprised to see a tall, lean figure. At first, it looks like an axemurder. Then it turns on the light and I see the most handsome boy in the entire freaking universe.

"Hi, I'm Thomas." He mumbles, placing down his sports bag.

I nod my head.

"I'm Alex."

~~~

It's been two months since the day I met Thomas. Can I let you in on a secret?

I'm still freaking gay.

I honestly didn't believe they had any chance of changing me and I was right. I still believe it's okay and I still have pride. Of course, I don't show it. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, even though I was had some interesting stories develope here.

I get bullied by kids who somehow have changed. You can never tell if they're really good actors or if they have actually changed.

Thomas and I have drawn... closer. We sleep together, I guess you could say we're in a secret relationship.

I still cut. Thomas doesn't know, I'm scared of his reaction. All my life I've been getting bad reactions from everything I do, how do I know Thomas won't leave me for being a depressed, idiotic cutter?

"Hey, Alex." Thomas says to me, walking into our cabin. Our windows are cut tight, no one can see inside unless we open them.

"Hey, baby." I mumble, blowing a kiss at him from my spot on our bed. There are two beds in the bedroom, but we only use one.

I examine his face. It's so dark and calm, like he just saw the scariest thing but doesn't want to talk about it. I'm a little worried about the expression, but go back to my phone. I trust my boyfriend to tell me when something is wrong. Thomas is my boyfriend.

I'm right.

There is something wrong.

Because he sits on the side of the bed and pats the spot next to him, motioning for me to come over. I get excited, because the first time he did that, we kissed for the first time.

"Alex? Can I see your arms?" He asks, staring daggers at my yellow 'sister' hoodie.

"No," I immediately respond, "I'm self conscious about them."

"I wouldn't judge you. You trust me. Why are you wearing a hoodie?" Thomas insists, still staring at my arm. I don't answer, instead I get up and begin to walk away. Of course, he grabs my hood and pulls me back.

I'm sitting in his lap, my face a deep red. He turns me to face him and I see his face isn't red at all. He takes off my hoodie and reveals my t-shirt.

And my arms.

Less than a moment later, I'm bawling my eyes out onto his magenta t-shirt. Thomas is holding me safetly, kissing my forehead and cheek occasionally. He keeps asking why, but his voice is merely an echo. I can sense the disappointment in it though, even from a mile away.

I don't realize it, but I reach down to scratch my arms. I want to make them bleed. I stop my crying to focus on my arms and that's when he realizes what I'm doing.

"Alex! Stop!" Thomas grabs my hands, forcing them to my side and hugs my waist.

I'm surprised.

I don't know why he cares so much about me.

So I sit there, confused and surprised and tired. And when he's done hugging my waist, he grabs me and pulls me into our bed. We aren't wearing pajames and definitely aren't in the right attire to sleep, but I curl into him anyway. He accepts me gently.

"I'm sorry." I say to his t-shirt.

"Don't apologize. Lex, you know I love you, right?"

I nod, already falling alseep in his warm embrace, "I love you, too."
~~~

i'm so sorry for not updating, i've been busy with my other book and just life. c h e c k o u t m y o t h e r b o o k t h o u g h; dear evan hansen oneshots! ❤️❤️