Jamilton Oneshots // Hamilton ✔️

Tests [JAMILTON]

It's the end of the year as I scim through my tests and grades. They're all bad grades, although earlier in the year they were better. I have them all hole-punched in a binder underneath my bed, just like my roommate and boyfriend, Thomas.

Speaking of him, when I look to his side of the dorm, his face is lit up.

Thomas notices me looking at him and looks at me, "Hey, baby. Good grades? Mine are pretty okay." By his face, I can tell they were far better than just pretty okay. The papers around him on the bed are all marked in red marker, big fat A's in the middle.

"Not really." I mutter back, looking at all the D's and F's surrounding me.

Thomas frowns at me, but senses my actual sad demeanor. He probably doesn't understand that my grades get worse at the end of the year. He's only known me since college started, one year ago. I usually have depressive episodes at that time of the year, but I don't know why. Maybe the cold, chilly weather it brings about or all the stress that piles on me. I can't help it.

Stupidly enough, a tear falls from my eye.

It falls on a test in front of me, wetting a few words as it spreads for a few seconds. A few seconds later, the spreading has stopped and Thomas' arms are around me.

"I'm so stupid." (omg me too) I whisper, throwing the test across the room like I'm a literal five-year-old.

"No, you aren't. What's wrong?" He asks. I don't answer for a few minutes, so he pushes it, "Something's wrong, Alex. What is it?"

I have no intention of telling him I'm in the middle of a depressive episode, so I don't answer.

Luckily, he doesn't push it.

"Can you just lay with me?" I ask softly, not knowing if that's too much to ask. It might be, but I'm so needy and stupid and sad (omg me too) I don't even care about what he thinks. I just want to lay down in his arms and sleep. Sleep is temporary death. I don't have to worry about grades in sleep, I don't even have to worry if I'm good enough or not. Sleep is what I wish my entire life was like; an escape (omg me too).

"Okay, baby." Thomas answers me.

I fall asleep, the tests with F's and D's surrounding me.

~~~

omg me too

i relate to this too much-