Sander sides one shots

Ratatouille kiss

The storm has passed and the sky is cloudless and clear. As a weary Remy exits the shelter, the fresh air hits his nostrils and he draws it in like a sweet memory.

He exhales, renewed and happy to be back in his brave new world. Forgetting himself, he trots for the kitchen entrance
on two legs, throwing a reckless wave at a passing cyclist.

The cyclist double-takes, craning his neck to look at the bizarre sight -- and collides with a parked car.

Remy enters and looks around. No one has arrived yet. Remy steps on to the counter top and surveys the kitchen, savoring the day ahead. And then he hears the sound. Snoring.

He takes cover and peers out. No one is there, but the Snoring persists. He peers cautiously over the edge -- as Remy walks forward, revealing Roman -- curled up on the floor and slumbering like a vagrant. Remy looks at the clock, realizing with horror that the others are about to arrive.

Remy jumps onto Roman’s head like a rough rider on a fallen horse and -- expertly tugging hanks of Roman’s hair, manages to get the boy up on his feet.

But Roman remains fast asleep.

Remy lifts one of Roman’s heavy eyelids and waves frantically at a staring eye -- but Roman is out cold. The sound of a motorcycle arriving at the rear entrance causes Remy to looks around in desperation.

He spies a pair of his sunglasses near the lockers. Virgil enters, unpleasantly surprised to find Roman already at there. He crosses to the counter and starts making breakfast.

Remy hids Roman’s shut eyes behind sunglasses, unintentionally giving him the air of a smug rock star. Though Roman remains fast asleep, Remy pulls his hair to keep the boy’s limbs working somewhat convincingly.

"Good morning, Roman..."

Remy pulls the prince's hair, nervously puppeting the sleeping Roman. How is he supposed make Roman answer? He pulls a side hair hank -- causing Roman’s head to roll to Virgil, give him a lazy nod, then turn back to his own food.

"So. Deciet. He invited you in for a drink? That’s big... that’s big. What did he say?"

Remy hesitates. There’s no hair he can pull for speech! Desperate, he pulls the head-turn hair again.

Roman’s head lolls lazily back to Virgil, the effect being a smug 'What do you think he said, babe?'

"What-- you can’t tell me?" Virgil frowns at Roman.

Roman is silent. He resumes cutting. Virgil goes cold.

"Oh. Forgive me for intruding on your deep, personal relationship with the pathological liar. I see how it is. You get me to teach you a few fighting tricks to dazzle the snake, and then you blow past me?"

Things are going south fast. Remy keeps Roman chopping, hoping desperately for an idea to salvage the situation.

"Ca’mon. Wake up... wake up--!" Remy tugs on Roman's hair, desperately.

Roman keeps chopping vegetables like a zombie. His smirking face rolls in Virgil’s direction.

"I thought you were different" He sounds hurt "I thought you thought I was different. I thought--"

Now, seemingly looking straight at Virgil, Roman snores.

Virgil gasps and delivers a roundhouse slaps to Roman’s face. Roman corkscrews and crashes to the floor.

Roman -- now completely awake and utterly confused at the crucial chunk of his life he’s somehow missed -- looks up at the furious Virgil with wide eyes.