Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Fifty-Four: Parasites

I've never had a baby, so this chapter may be science fiction-y.

***

I sat on the edge of the medical table dangling my feet. My OB-GYN was running a little behind on her appointments, which had me swimming in my plethora of anxieties. Christian, baby, family, work. So much could go wrong. Everything felt wrong.

"It's going to be great," Hannah said from her seat across from me when she noticed my worried expression.

A few minutes later, my longtime OB-GYN, Dr. Fritz, bust through the door with all the energy I had lost over the past few weeks. "Good morning, Annie!" she said cheerfully. "And, Hannah, of course!"

She scooted a stool over to me and took a seat. "You're officially through your first trimester. How are you feeling?"

"I'm throwing up less, so I can't complain too much. I'm just really tired."

"That's good. I would be concerned if you had a lot of energy. Babies are cute, but they're also parasites."

I laughed. "I've been telling Hannah that over the past week or so. She thinks I'm being dramatic."

"How are you feeling mentally and emotionally? That's just as important."

"Mostly scared that something is going to go very wrong."

"You're young and healthy and officially past the first trimester, so that's unlikely at this point. We'll make sure we test for everything we can, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"Do you think it'll just be you and Hannah at the rest of your appointments? I'd like to make a note on your chart."

"Probably. Maybe my mom if she's in town. You know, once I tell her about all of this."

Dr. Fritz nodded and scribbled some notes. "So, this may be a sensitive subject, but do you know anything about the father's medical history? Yours is complete, but I have nothing on his side."

I sighed and shook my head. "Not much, honestly. He's an athlete, so I'm assuming he's extremely healthy, but I'm unsure about his family members."

Dr. Fritz scribbled more notes. "Hey, that's something. If you do find out any additional information, please just let me or the front desk know."

I fidgeted with my hands, and Dr. Fritz noticed my nerves. "You've got this! Let's get started. First of all, a 1.5-pound weight gain through the first trimester is ideal. If you're eating healthy and exercising, you should only gain one to four pounds. You're right in there."

She made another note before continuing, "You're going to probably start gaining around one to two pounds per week now. You may be on the higher end because you're tiny. Your body is going to need to gain more weight than someone bigger than you to support the baby's growth."

I sighed. "I'm worried about that."

"Of course you are. If you keep up your diet and exercise, the gain should only be visible in your stomach area. You'll also lose the baby weight more quickly."

"Told you," Hannah chimed in.

"Anyway, we already stole blood and urine from you, so how do you feel about hearing baby's heart beat for the first time? We should be able to hear that today."

"Oh my God, Annie!" Hannah squealed and clapped her hands together.

I giggled at Hannah's reaction. "That'd be good."

Dr. Fritz had me lie down before applying the fetal doppler to my stomach. "Hear that galloping sound?" she asked me. "That's the heartbeat."

I had no plans to get emotional over this moment, but I actually started sobbing. "I can't believe there's an adorable, living parasitic monster growing inside of me," I tried to joke through my tears. I looked to Hannah for emotional support and stability, but she was tearing up too. No help there.

Dr. Fritz giggled as well. "It's a perfect heartbeat."

And the amount of relief I felt in those words gave me some life back. And I was thankful for that.

But I also couldn't help but think about Christian, and how this baby was his, too. And I stole this moment from him. I mean, if he even wanted the moment.

I told myself he probably wouldn't have wanted the moment and looked over at Hannah. She was still crying.

"I should tell him now," I whispered.

"Yeah, you should," Hannah said as she wiped her tears away. "Worst case scenario is he doesn't want to play a role in the baby's life, which he currently isn't doing anyway."

She was right. He could opt out. And, deep down, that's what I wanted him to do. 

It'd be easier for all of us.