Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Seventy-Five: Home

"Christian, stop," I urged him as I tried to gently push his arm back toward his pocket. I didn't want him to open the small box in his hand. I didn't want to see what was in it. It would make this all more real, and I'd have a harder time forgetting this moment. I desperately wanted to forget.

"Why?" he asked me. "Why should I stop?" he repeated.

"Because, if you honestly loved me like you say you do, you'd listen to my needs. I told you I'm not ready for this. I love you, but we barely know each other. We have so much left to learn before marriage is a smart idea."

"Quiz me. I know more about you than you think," he challenged me.

"That's a ridiculous idea. That idea alone is proof that you're not ready to get married." I started to grab our things – my purse and our garbage – and turned away from him to head to the car.

"So now I'm the one who isn't ready to get married?" He caught up with me. The anger in his voice made me roll my eyes.

"We're both not ready to get married," I stated plainly. "We have too many other things to focus on. I need to focus on being a mom and getting to know you, and you have to focus on being a dad and getting to know me. Also, I think you need to learn how to love someone. This isn't how you do it. You have to actually actively listen to them." I was tearing up a little. I was so sick of crying over him. Was this even worth it?

"We can do all those things while being engaged," he countered.

"Why put that sort of pressure on us at this point in our relationship? We can just be together without anyone putting their expectations for marriage on us. Why do you want this so badly?"

"Because I want you. And I want you to want me just as badly," he muttered, his tone exasperated.

"Christian, I love you and want you without a ring. Please understand that. I truly believe being engaged would make our relationship worse – not better."

"Why was Asher good enough for you?" There it was – the bomb I was waiting for him to drop.

"How can you be this insecure?" I asked him. "How can you even compare our relationship to that?"

"You loved him so much you were willing to marry him."

"I knew him for years before we even dated. Then we dated for over a year. There was no baby. The context was entirely different. Stop with the false equivalence bullshit." My voice was starting to take a turn toward angry as well. "Honestly, Christian, I'm not even sure you love me. I think I'm the one who's stupidly in love with you, and you're just infatuated with the idea of me."

At this point, we were at the car. We didn't say a word to one another the entire drive home.

All he said to me before he left for his Friday night game was, "Don't bother coming. You probably don't want to anyway. Now you don't need an excuse."

***

I knocked on my parents' door. They weren't expecting me, so I decided to not enter the house unannounced.

My dad answered. "Annie Banannie! What an unexpected, but wonderful, surprise." He pulled me into his arms, and I just started crying into his chest. I couldn't stop.

"Oh my gosh, sweetie, what is it?" I heard my mom asked as she approached us. My dad just deepened his embrace.

"Do we need to kill Christian Yelich?" I heard my brother, Zach, shout from the living room. I guess the whole family was going to experience my emotional breakdown. "He sucks tonight. Zero for two so far. You can do so much better," he continued to yell.

I couldn't help but laugh. There was just something about Zach that could instantly cheer me up, even during my worst times.

"That's better," my dad said. I pulled away from him, and he immediately took my glasses off my face and wiped away my tears. "Your glasses are always filthy, Annie. I'm going to clean these". As a teenager, whenever I would wear my glasses, he would always get annoyed at how dirty they would get and then clean them for me. I knew I had made the right choice in coming home. I needed my family right now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" my mom asked me before moving in for her own hug.

"You found the last good man," I informed her.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I think Christian is a good man, but I think he must have made a big mistake to bring you here tonight. What happened?"

"He asked me to marry him," I muttered.

"What!?" my mom responded – a mix between an exclamation and a question. "What an idiot. You've only known each other for a few months. Does he want to ruin both your lives?"

"Right?" I knew she'd understand. Despite their poor reaction to my pregnancy, I was so happy they were my parents.

"What's this I hear about Christian Yelich proposing to my daughter?" my dad asked while returning my glasses to me. "Please tell me you said no. I mean, he's welcome to be my son-in-law at some point in the future, but not yet."

"If I said yes, do you think I'd be here right now?" I jokingly asked him.

"Fair point," he added. "Do you want some dinner – if Zach hasn't eaten it all?"

"I'd love dinner."

"I didn't eat it all!" Zach shouted again. "There's a little left," he added.

"You know you can stay here as long as you need. We love you. Plus, it will give us time to get caught up on your baby news. Didn't you have an appointment today?" We all relocated to the living room, and I sat next to Zach on the couch.

"Oh my God, I forgot today actually had a good start." I put my hands on my stomach. "We're having a girl."

My mom screamed, and my dad clapped. Zach proudly declared that he'd "teach her everything he knows."

I had almost forgotten what home was supposed to feel like. This was it.