Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Eighty-Seven: Christian's Side

I updated all my Christian Yelich stories this week: Paper Rain (NEW), It Had to Be You (FRUSTRATING), and this one, obviously (every friggin' day). Check 'em out.

"Wow, @fakeempires, you update a lot. Do you have a life?" No, not at all. It's five degrees in Milwaukee, and I already have vitamin D deficiency from the lack of sunshine. 

***

"I don't think I should leave tonight. I think I should wait until after we get you home," Christian muttered while glancing out the window in my hospital room.

"I want you to get back to baseball. I have plenty of people around to help me." I placed a hand on his thigh, which caused him to look at me. "If you leave tonight and beat the team to Atlanta, you only miss one game."

"Yeah, but I should be one of those people too. I should be here for you."

"I'll meet you in San Francisco for the Giants series in a few weeks. I'll see all your games in San Francisco and San Diego. Every single one."

Christian glanced out the window again. "And when will you be in Milwaukee full-time?"

"I don't know if staying in Milwaukee is such a good idea." I had been dreading this discussion. "My regular doctor is here and . . ."

"We can find you just as good of a doctor in Milwaukee," Christian cut me off. "Come in July and stay through the rest of the season. Please?" His eyes pleaded with me. I hated this. I wanted to leave with him right now, but it just wasn't the best option. Deep down, he had to know that.

"I just sort of want to be comfortable at home. All my resources are here."

"All your resources?" Christian snapped. "Your immediate family and I aren't included in those?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Please, just listen to me for once."

Christian sighed. "Okay." I was relieved he agreed to listen, even though I knew it was difficult for him. He was at least trying to keep his emotions in check.

"This turned into a high-risk pregnancy, and I wasn't expecting that. My regular doctor and my specialists are all here. I'm scared uprooting my life will endanger the baby. I want to be with you, but I'd rather be patient and wait until the off-season, so the three of us can all be together – happy and healthy. It'll be worth the wait, I promise."

"I want to take care of you," he mumbled. "I can't stand the idea of everyone else taking care of you while I freaking play baseball like a dumbass."

I couldn't help but giggle a little at his ridiculous comment. "Christian, you'd be gone half the time anyway. That would be additional stress on us and the baby. I love you, and being apart for a bit longer won't change that."

"I want to wake up next to you . . ."

"You will. Just not tomorrow."

"Or the next day. Or the day after that . . ."

"Let's just find things to look forward to rather than focus on the fact we won't be together all the time."

"At least visit me in Milwaukee again?"

He looked so beaten down; I didn't want to dishearten him more. "I can try depending on how I'm feeling. Is that fair?"

"Yeah, that's fair," he conceded.

I pressed my lips to his cheek, and he finally smiled a little. He then took advantage of my face being so close to his and placed a tender kiss on my mouth.

"But that doesn't mean I like it," he finished.

***

My mom decided she was going to be the one to drive me home from the hospital, but I wasn't expecting her to spring a lecture on me halfway through the trip. I especially wasn't expecting her to betray me by taking Christian's side.

"You should be in Milwaukee with Christian and your family," she started up after the normal niceties concerning the weather and how I was feeling after my blood transfusion were over. "If you're worried about living with your boyfriend so soon, you can have your old bedroom. Bring those sweet little pugs of yours."

"Mom, I'm not worried about living with Christian. I'm looking forward to it. I just don't want to be away from my normal routine. Plus, I have work, and you're the one who taught me how important it is for me to have my own career and be an 'independent woman.'"

"You can get back to your old Milwaukee routine. And we already know you're strong and independent. There's nothing to prove."

"My Milwaukee routine? Like what I did in high school? Grab a coffee at Anodyne before first period and maybe check out the mall? Play some pickup soccer with the boys at the lakefront? Hit up my shift at Café Hollander?"

"Yeah, sure, that. All of that. Not the soccer, though. Too intense right now."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, my life is here. I can't change it."

"You need to wake up and realize your life is going to be Christian and Eloise. You should be where he is, so he can learn what it's like to be your partner. You're not giving him that chance. You also need a chance to learn how to be his partner. The reason you two bicker and fight and cry all the time is because you're never together. Is that what you want Eloise to experience? Two immature adults constantly on each other's nerves?"

"We will have time together. It just can't be now." Her immature comment was biting. I didn't actually think I was being immature . . . I was trying to be stoic.

"Annie Margaret Delaney, you are disappointing me, young lady. Family first."

"I feel like I am putting my family first. I'm putting Eloise's safety first."

"Keep telling yourself that, sweetie."

Why did everything have to be so difficult? I was always disappointing someone.