Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Fifty-Eight: The Truth

My knuckles were white as I gripped the wheel and drove away from Annie's house. I had no specific destination in mind, but my brain transitioned to auto-pilot, and I started to head towards my mom's place in Westlake Village.

"Goddamnit, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I yelled to an audience of no one. "What the goddamn fuck!" I continued my rant to an empty car.

My head was spinning and my hands were shaking, as I began to think about what just happened.

Annie was pregnant. The baby was mine. I was going to be a dad.

I continued cursing to no one while bombarded with thoughts. Why didn't she tell me sooner? Why didn't she tell me yesterday? How did this happen?

She was on birth control, and, when I was with her overseas, she seemed religious about taking it. She had no reason to trap me with a baby; she had her own money and career. She was reserved about relationships. She had anxiety about any sort of future with me. So, once again, how did this happen?

I pulled into my mom's driveway thirty minutes after leaving Annie. I was relieved to see that there were lights on in the house. Someone was home.

I entered the security key and made my way inside — like me showing up at my mom's house was just perfectly routine. It wasn't any more.

My brother Cameron was in the kitchen eating cereal. "Is mom home?" I asked, my tone flat.

"Yeah, she's upstairs. Dude, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost. Holy shit, are you crying?"

"Shut up, Cam." I rolled my teary eyes and headed upstairs.

I knocked on my mom's bedroom door, which felt like a weird thing for a grown man to be doing. "It's Christian," I mumbled.

"Sweetheart!" she greeted me. "I thought we weren't going to see you until the game tomorrow." She paused to look at me. "Honey, what's wrong? You look awful. What happened?"

"Annie's pregnant," I stated plainly. After saying it out loud to another person, I was overcome with emotion again and had to sit down on the side of my mom's bed for support.

My mom immediately sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug. "Did you just find out?" she asked softly. Her calmness allowed me to take a breath.

"Yeah," I whispered. "About a half hour ago."

"And how did you react when she told you?"

"I just sort of left before I got angry at her. If I stayed, I knew I'd say something I regret. I didn't want to hurt her while my emotions were high, you know?"

"Honey, that sounds reasonable, but I think she's probably crushed that you just left. Did you say anything to her before coming here?"

"Just that I needed to be alone. And then I touched her stomach and kissed her cheek and fled."

My mom sighed heavily. I could tell she was disappointed in how I handled myself. "That poor woman is at home right now thinking you're out of the picture entirely. Is that what you want? To not be in the picture?"

I snapped a little. "Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I want to be in the picture. I was just scared. And angry. And really hurt. I didn't want to yell at her. I figured she had enough to be stressed over."

"Why were you angry at her?"

"She has to be pretty far into her pregnancy. Why did she wait so long to tell me?" I buried my head in my hands in frustration. "I feel lied to, I guess."

"Honey, she was scared. Can you honestly blame her? I highly doubt she was expecting this, especially with her career taking off; she's much more famous than you, even. And this ties her to you forever, even though you're not in a formal relationship. That's a lot for someone to handle. She told you, and you need to respect how brave that was."

"Paige told me you hate Annie."

My mom laughed. "How could I hate someone you seem to love so much? I just think the careers and distance are extremely difficult obstacles for both of you. She's a beautiful, successful woman who is going to give me a granddaughter, so she's actually my favorite person. I hope I get to meet her some day soon."

For the first time since leaving Annie's house, I cracked a small smile. "A granddaughter, huh?"

"Yeah, there's no way in hell this baby is a boy. I had three sons, so she'll definitely be a girl."

"I don't think so. I think we'll be keeping the boy tradition alive and well."

"Are you feeling any better?"

"I think so." My heart was still heavy, and my hands were still shaking, but I felt a little lighter.

"You need to go back to her and fix your mistake."

I nodded and stood up. "What should I say?"

"Just tell her the truth about how you're feeling. It's that simple."