Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter One Hundred Twelve: Foundations

"I don't understand why you think we have to do this," I said to Annie as we sat in a waiting room that was trying too hard to feel homey. The fireplace and vintage wallpaper made me roll my eyes and the peppiness of the receptionist made me want to leave before our appointment started.

Annie looked at me with a hint of disapproval in her sharp, green eyes. "It won't hurt to at least talk to a professional about our relationship."

"We can figure shit out for ourselves, baby."

"Please, just do this for me? We're dealing with so many things . . . an infant, a pending marriage, fame, public pressure, moving parts, trust issues . . . It would just make me feel better to get an outsider's perspective."

"Fine," I exhaled, defeated by her stupid eyes and beautiful face. "We'll try it."

She smiled at me, and I knew it was worth it to go along with her idea. Her smile always made it worth it.

Our therapist, Jennifer, greeted us a moment later and brought us into her office. We sat on a comfy couch across from her. She was a kind, middle-aged woman, and I was so relieved she wasn't overly cheerful. "So, you two have a lot going on . . . A new baby and an engagement. All very exciting and new. Can I ask, was Eloise planned?"

Annie snorted. "No, definitely not, but I think we're both in agreement that she's the best thing to ever happen to us. If I knew she was going to be the result, I would have planned for her."

I smiled and put a hand on Annie's lower thigh before giving it a gentle squeeze. "Seriously, we wouldn't change a thing."

Jennifer wrote something down, her expression seemed pleased. "Do you think you two would be together if Annie didn't get pregnant?"

Annie said "no" while I said "yes," which wasn't what I was expecting. It hurt a bit, but I knew better than to get upset right now.

"Annie, why don't you explain your answer first. Then Christian. Just listen to one another. Don't interrupt."

Annie nodded. "It's just he started seeing someone else and we were so far apart from one another. I just don't think we would have had a reason to figure out if we'd work. I fell for him really hard and really fast, but I generally follow my brain over my heart. My brain was telling me that we were impossible, a wrong fit. Eloise gave me a reason to fight for us." Annie chewed her lip nervously and looked at me.

I nodded at her. I just wanted her to know I was listening and trying to understand. "I fell madly in love with her in just a few days. I wanted to keep fighting when she ended things. I never had those feelings for anyone before . . . They were so new and raw, and she was so beautiful and I couldn't imagine not having her after our two weeks overseas. She just overtook me. She still does. I love her so much."

"Well, it doesn't seem like you two are far apart in your feelings, but it sounds like things happened incredibly fast. You fell in love quickly, and then Annie got pregnant. I'm sure that was hard and confusing when you were just trying to get to know each other; you still are. Tell me a little about that."

I squeezed Annie's leg again to let her know I was still listening. "It was scary. It still is a little scary. So much was happening, and I didn't want to lose myself. I didn't want to give my life up, and that mentality made me a little selfish."

"How so?" Jennifer asked.

"I wanted to stay in Los Angeles and not move to Milwaukee this summer. My mom convinced me that Christian deserved a chance to experience life with me before the baby arrived, and she was absolutely right. I'm glad I made the decision — despite all the drama that came with it. I feel like we're learning and growing together now, even if we make some mistakes. Scratch that — a lot of mistakes."

"And your thoughts, Christian?"

"I was just constantly afraid of fucking things up. And then I would fuck things up. I wasted so much time fucking up and fixing things. I wish I could take the mistakes back."

"We learn from mistakes," Jennifer said while writing. "They're all opportunities for growth. How do you two feel about the current status of your relationship? Annie first."

"I love him and Lo more than anything. When it comes down to it, I'd do anything to make them happy. If Christian wanted me to stop acting, I would. They are literally my world now."

"Wait . . . What?" I gave her a confused look. "I'd never ask that of you, Annie."

"Remember, just listen to each other. Your turn, Christian." Jennifer looked at me in anticipation.

"Annie and Baby Lo are the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before drifting to sleep. When I'm on the road without them, I sometimes panic when I wake up in the morning. Where are they? What stupid thing did I do? I'm still afraid I'm going to lose them. I have nightmares about all the mistakes I could make. I would die for them. Honestly. They make me feel complete."

Annie's hand found mine, and she brought our hands into her lap.

"Why don't you two each share what you love most about one another?"

Annie answered without hesitation. "He is an incredible father and has exceeded my expectations entirely. He does whatever he can whenever he can without any excuses. I'm so proud of him. He gives Lo one hundred percent every day. He never quits. He's the best dad, even with his impossible schedule."

I knew I had a few tears in my eyes, but I didn't bother wiping them away. "She's the best mom and the best support system I could ever ask for. She makes daily sacrifices to take care of me and Lo. I know we're both difficult sometimes, but she smiles just the same. Adversity is nothing to her."

"On the contrary, what do you think is the biggest issue in your relationship?"

"Trust," Annie said immediately.

"Trust," I agreed. "But I think we can conquer the problems.

Jennifer gave us both a warm smile. "I'd love to work with both of you on trust. I think you have a lot of love from which to build. It's just going to take a little time. Sometimes when relationships move so fast, you forget the foundations."

***

"You were right; we needed that," I informed Annie as we walked to my car.

"I feel so much better now. Like we can take on anything. I just needed a starting point, you know?"

"I think we should just get married now. Fuck waiting until the off season." We were at the car now, and she looked at me and laughed.

I thought she was going to tell me I was insane. Instead, all she said was, "Let's go apply for the license now. We can walk right over to the courthouse."

And that's exactly what we did.