Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Seventy-One: Totally the Dude

I started a new Christian story titled Paper Rain because this one will be ending soon-ish. I think? I don't know. I thought it'd be over by chapter fifty, but here I am at seventy-one.

Go check out Paper Rain, though. It should be a good time.

***

"Christian's fans don't exactly love me," I joked as Hannah and I lounged around the house after a rough workout.

"Are you reading Instagram comments again?" Hannah asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, listen to this one. 'This ugly bitch is such a slut that she sucks one thousand dicks at once.' Ouch."

Hannah practically cackled. "Wow. She really nailed your essence. Also, that's just logistically nonsensical"

I giggled. "This one is pretty good too. 'Their baby is going to need plastic surgery before it's born. Annie's face is busted. He can do soooo much better.'"

Hannah was literally rolling on the floor laughing at this point. "How can he possibly do better than a beautiful Academy Award winner with a college degree and a bleeding do-gooder heart?"

"A porn star might be fun for him. Oh! Or a veterinarian. Animals are the best."

"Please tell me you're not taking any of this to heart."

"Nah, I'm used to this. Most of his fans are actually very nice. And, I mean, I've been there too. Having a crush on someone sucks, especially when they're in a relationship."

"It totally does," Hannah agreed. "I hate my twisted fangirl heart. I'm still convinced JC Chasez is the one for me."

"Oh, God. He's actually replying to some of these. What. An. Idiot. Does he think this bothers me? It's fine . . ."

"I honestly think he should hire me as his publicist too. He does not make well-informed decisions sometimes. He feeds the trolls, you know? And the Brewers' PR guy? Not as good as me. Let's be real."

"Seriously, I think he needs you."

"I mean, you're together anyway. It wouldn't be that difficult to manage both your accounts." Hannah shrugged.

"I'm going to text him."

Annie: Quit responding to mean things people say about me on your Instagram account. It's fine. Just leave it alone.

Christian replied in seconds. He almost always did.

Christian: I have to defend your honor, babe.

I rolled my eyes before responding.

Annie: I can defend myself, and there's nothing to defend me from. Fangirls are sweet and harmless, and even the vicious ones are just trying to protect you. They love you, and they're annoyed I exist. I respect that. Like, I feel the same way about Daniel Radcliffe's girlfriend as your fans feel about me, you know?

Christian: Sometimes you're too nice. My fans shouldn't be telling you to die. Also, I'm probably going to have to eliminate Daniel Radcliffe. Sorry, Dan.

Annie: No, they shouldn't do that, but they're also not going to kill me. There's no real threat, so please stop replying. You're just validating them anyway. Also, hands off my boy.

Christian: Your fans don't talk shit about me like mine do about you.

Annie: That's because my male fans don't idealize me in the same way. I'm more of an object than a person. I'm nice to think about in certain contexts, mostly sexual, but they don't fantasize about being in a relationship with me. That's the difference.