Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Eighty-Eight: Can't Wait

Posting this early because work is the worst.

***

I hadn't seen Annie in almost a full month. We usually talked every night and FaceTimed a couple of times per week, but that was the extent of our contact – no kissing, no touching, no cuddling on the couch. The last time I saw her was when I said goodbye to her at the hospital. It felt like years at this point. On the bright side, we were no longer fighting regularly, and we were definitely finding a good rhythm together. We laughed a lot, even if it was just over the telephone. I loved her more every day, even in spite of the distance.

The Brewers had an off day in San Francisco the day before the start of Brewers at Giants series, and she planned to meet me in the team hotel lobby. I was anxiously pacing in my room, waiting for her to call or text to let me know she made it. When she finally did, I sprinted to the elevator and made my way down to greet her as quickly as I could.

She smiled when she saw me, and I wasted no time before wrapping her up in my arms. "God, baby, I'm so relieved to see you," I whispered into her ear before kissing her briefly, but passionately. I rested my hands on her growing stomach and looked her in the eyes. "Do you want to go to the room?" I asked softly. I was trying not to tear up at the sight of her.

"Yes, please," she said with a smile. "I'm exhausted. Is it okay if we just stay in and order room service? We're in my favorite city, and all I want to do is lounge around." She rolled her eyes at herself.

I chuckled. "Honestly, that's exactly what I want to do too." I took her weekender bag from her and threw it over my shoulder before we headed to the sixth floor.

"I have an extra key for you in the room," I informed her as I opened the door for us.

As soon as we stepped inside she kicked her sandals off and jumped on the bed. "Thank Goooood," she sighed. "My feet hurt so bad."

"Do you want me to rub them?" I asked her as I moved in next to her.

"Sweet offer, but I'll spare you on that one."

I leaned over to kiss her, and she gave into it immediately. I didn't waste any time, and I helped her maneuver on top of me. "Hey, beautiful," I said softly, as she looked me directly in the eyes. She jumped a little when my hands went under her shirt and glided up and down her sides.

She covered my hands with her hands. "I'm not feeling super sexy lately. I mean . . ."

"You are super sexy," I cut her off. "Like, unbelievably so," I continued.

She laughed. "You have to say that," she muttered before grabbing my hands, squeezing them, and then gently moving them off of her.

"Let me show you how sexy you are," I offered.

She suddenly removed herself from my lap and sat down next to me. "Is it okay if we don't tonight?" she asked nervously while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, totally okay." I was disappointed, but I wasn't going to be an asshole about it and make her feel worse. "Are you just not feeling good about yourself, or is there more to it?"

She looked straight ahead while she spoke. "I'm struggling with the idea you slept with someone else. I've been thinking about it constantly. I wish it didn't bother me, but it does."

"Annie . . ." I started, grabbing her hand.

"You didn't do anything wrong, but I just feel sort of . . . not good enough? Especially with this huge pregnant tummy." She sighed. "I know how stupid and insecure I sound."

"You don't sound stupid, but I need to know how to help you get past this. I've told you every single detail about that night, and I think you know it meant nothing to me at this point. I was just trying to hurt you. And myself."

"I think we just need to ease into everything over the next few days." She looked at me again, and I gave her a genuine smile.

"I'm totally fine with that. My boner says 'oh fuck,' but my brain says 'don't be an idiot.'"

She laughed. "I think those are thoughts you keep in your own head, nerd."

"Would it help if I told you how pretty you are? Over and over again?" I asked.

"It wouldn't hurt," she mused.

I kissed her as deeply as I could, and she smiled against my lips. When we broke apart, slightly breathless, she clapped her hands together and excitedly asked where the room service menu was.

I laughed and shook my head.

"I'm very pregnant now. This is going to be a whole new thing for you!" she exclaimed.

"I can't wait," I informed her. And I couldn't. I wasn't going to waste a single moment of this time together.