Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Seventy-Three: Trauma

"You seem nervous. What's wrong?" Christian asked me as we drove to our mid-pregnancy ultrasound. He moved his right hand from the wheel of his Mercedes to my fingers, which were resting on my leg, and gave them a gentle squeeze.

I squeezed his hand in return and looked over at him. "I just always feel anxious before these appointments. I think they're going to find something very wrong with her or me or both of us. Also, this isn't my regular doctor's office, and that's making me more nervous. I like routine when it comes to my medical care."

Christian nodded his head. "I understand, but I think everything is going to be great. You even felt him move yesterday." He gave me a small smile and continued to squeeze my hand lovingly.

"I can't believe I'm going to an ultrasound with the love of my life. This is all so unreal," he continued. "I'm going to be a dad. Holy shit!"

I chuckled at how excited he sounded, and his excitement put me more at ease. "I know. It's crazy. I never expected to be a mom, but I'm really excited now that it's going to happen. I think I'll be okay at it . . ."

He moved my hand to his lips and gave it a quick kiss. "I love you. I know I say it over and over again, but that's only because it's true. You're going to be the best mom. We're going to be the best parents. You have nothing to worry about."

I hoped he was right.

***

"Everything looks perfect. Your health is perfect. Your husband is hitting the ball really well, so that's all perfect. Do you have any questions for me before I tell you the sex?"

Christian held my hand tightly. I wanted to correct the technician on the husband comment, but figured it wasn't worth the effort. Plus, marriage was still a sensitive topic for me and Christian; I didn't want to upset him. "No, I think we're ready to know."

"Do you want me to write the sex down and place it in an envelope, or do you want me to just tell you?"

"Just tell us," Christian said kindly, but impatiently. "I can't wait any longer."

I giggled. "Yeah, just tell us. We're prepared."

The technician gave us both a big smile. "You are definitely having a baby girl. Congratulations!"

I wasn't surprised at all to learn what I already knew, but I was surprised to hear Christian just break down sobbing at the revelation. I mean, he was crying so hard that he was having trouble breathing. I wasn't actually sure how to respond to the trauma he was experiencing at the idea of not having a son to indoctrinate with baseball.

"Oh my God, baby, I knew you wanted a boy, but I didn't know you cared this much. Are you okay?"

He responded by kissing me more deeply than what was probably appropriate in front of a medical professional. It took him a moment to calm down enough to be able to speak. "I'm so fucking happy, Annie."

"But I thought you wanted a boy?" I teased, as I wiped tears out of his eyes and off his face. "Yeli, Jr. or whatever."

He laughed and kissed me again. "It was just fun to mess with you." He paused for a moment. "We'll have a boy next time."

I rolled my eyes and playfully smacked his shoulder. "One and done."

"Oh, we'll see about that, Annie Delaney."

I had gone from "no kids" to "one and done," but we were definitely stopping here. One was good.

"We should celebrate," he added. "Let's go to the lake and have a picnic or something. We still have a little time."

"Okay," I agreed. "But I may have to waddle like a duck to get out on the rocks."

"You look beautiful when you waddle, babe."

"Don't make me hate you, Yelich," I mused.

"You don't even waddle yet, but I'll let you know when the transition happens."

"You. Are. The. Worst."

"You love me."

I sighed. "It's true."