Astral Convergences

Risks and bets

C pov

i'm sitting on my sofa,listening to music,waiting for Shannon to come out of our bedroom..i'm relaxing singing...music always had this power on me..when i'm down,i feel better...when i'm happy,i feel even happier.music is my savior.the beautiful angel i'm lucky to call my fiancee steps in the living room   "i'm ready baby..we can go"   i nod, giving her my hands...then i place a soft kiss on her lips   "are you nervous?"   she asks me   "a little but i'll tell them what i want"   she kisses my forehead   "that's my girl.let's go".

Shannon turns off the engine in front of Capitol Records..i take a deep breath..she holds my hand   "babe...i can come with you if you want"  "no.i have to do this on my own"  "okay...i'll pick you up later,okay?"    i nod,approaching her face to kiss her    "see you later"  "wait,i help you". 

come on Cari,you can do it..you are a strong woman.you have to fight for your music and they're gonna listen.i enter the building..the man at the reception smiles and i greet him.i get in the elevator..my legs are shaking but the anger in me calms me down...fuck...i don't have to be so nervous..they're the ones who have to give me explanations.here we are...this is the floor...i get out of the elevator and i talk with the secretary...she smiles   "they're waiting for you". 

they're sitting around a table.. Blythe,Carter,Simon and a woman i've never seen before.  "Cari,hi...how are you?take a seat"   Simon tells me with a smile   "i'm good, thank you". i sit next to Carter who squeezes my arm to show me support.this fucking dress is tight and i have to pee...i sigh...this is going to be a long day. "Cari,this is Natalie,our new art director"   Simon introduces the woman   "she's going to work with you,on your project". i raise my eyebrow,taking a look at the woman...she has big green eyes,light-brown hair and a large flannel shirt...i look at her shoes...Timberland boots...if this ain't a lesbian,i don't know what that is..i smile inside me...  "have you heard?"   the woman is looking at me with a weird expression   "umm...excuse me..what were you saying?"   she snorts   "i was asking if you're ready to talk with me...they can go"  "umm,sure...". Carter and Blythe stand up   "wait..are you leaving me alone?"   i ask them   "she already knows what you wanna say....we talked...she's really smart"   Blythe tells me   "yeah..by the way,you're hot as fuck with this dress today...you don't need us"   Carter tells,winking his eye.

now,we're alone in this room...Natalie and me...she hands me a coffee   "so...pregnant,huh?"   i smile  "yes,i'm about to give birth"  "i didn't ask you this.so,about the project...i listened to the songs and i decided to cut three of them"   oh...so,this rude bitch is the responsible of my nervousness   "i...umm...i'm here-"  "don't get me wrong..your project is good but i think it's better we release an EP"  "i..."  "and i know you worked hard..i respect you for this but our label can't afford such a risk.we can't make mistakes"  "umm..mistakes?my music?"  "you're young,you can sing...but we need to see if you can stand the impact with reality"  I'm starting to get really really nervous....she keeps talking but i'm not listening anymore...so,i snap   "that's enough!"   she looks at me, surprised   "excuse me?"  "i'm here,listening to your bullshit and i can't even reply.i have to pee and my ankles hurt!"  "oh.do you wanna go to the toilet?"  "yes!"   i stand up and storm out of the room. i burst into tears the second after i close the bathroom door   "this bitch...she doesn't even know what she's talking about"   loud sobs escape from my mouth..it gets even worse when i see myself in the mirror...i think about Shannon and June and i cry more   "my babies..."    i put my hands on my belly..i need my family now...i need to hear Shannon's voice.i'm grabbing my phone when i realize that it's not a good idea..she might get crazy hearing me like this..i can't risk that Shannon kills Natalie,even though she deserves it.i wipe off my tears and take a deep breath..you have to fix this problem alone..you have to do it for your family..you can't depend on Shannon..come on Cari,let's go.i exit the bathroom and walk through the hallway...i see Natalie and i mumble angrily   "now,you're going to meet Fletchdaddy". "hey...are you calmer?"   she asks   "i am..but one thing:now,it's my time to talk"   she sits on the chair,signaling me to do the same.  "so...i put too much work on this project to hear from you that my music is a risk"  "i didn't mean-"  "no"    i stop her   "you will answer at the end.i was an independent artist..you know what that means?that i was able to decide everything about my career.when i signed with Capitol,i made an act of faith..i put my future,my life in your hands.so,this project with you is a risk for me too.i believe in my music,i think i have something to say and i don't wanna cut any of my songs out of the album.now,you can talk"  she breathes heavily   "well...i have to think about this,okay?"    i smile   "take your time..but don't be late please..i'm waiting for this album since this summer"   she looks me straight in the eyes...i see an expanse of green lawns..i look away while she replies   "okay.we can meet in three days."  "alright.."    i stand up,now embarrassed   "i'm gonna call my fiancee"   she smirks   "wow..pregnant and about to get married..we made a big deal with you"   i turn around,incredulous   "you're ignorant..popstars can also be mothers.look at Kehlani"  "she's famous..you're not"   i open my mouth....i wanna punch her in the face...i clench my jaw...i think our collaboration will be an authentic war   "i'll wait for your call Natalie..now,i have some important things to do"  "sure..your wifey will be waiting for you.i'll call you"   i give her one last bad look before i walk away.i go to Carter's office to wait for Shannon.