Astral Convergences

Hotlines

S pov

great. I can't sleep. I get up, nervous as fuck, grabbing the phone. "when?"  is the answer I send to Natalie. she doesn't reply immediately, getting me angrier...i wanna go to bed but thanks to this bitch, I'm anxious now... I'm starting picturing situations about her and Cari... I take a deep breath and go downstairs. my mom gives me a weird look  "what are you doing here?"  "I need something to eat. I'm nervous"  "why?"  "Natalie..."  "what did she do?"  "I don't know yet. she wants to meet me"  "maybe it's about her testimony". I stop for a second...fuck, she's right. I get so anxious when it comes to this woman... I grab the chocolate, taking a bite  "I started thinking it was about Cari"  "you need to rest, Shannon. your wife is sleeping..she needs you to be fine". I nod. as I'm about to leave, I spot my children in the garden  "they're so pretty...". I don't know why I start crying... June hands her brother one of her toys...she's so similar to Cari... "ugh". I wipe my tears off and go upstairs. I grab my phone...no text from that bit- from Natalie.... i lay on the bed and start scrolling through instagram.. Cari is tagged in a few pictures...she's so beautiful and happy. i start typing a text, wiping new tears off my face: "dear baby, it's seven in the morning and i spent the whole night watching you and waiting for your call. i don't regret it at all. i miss you like crazy..you don't know how. i'm so anxious about you being so far from me...umm...but i want you to discover the world. it's just that... i can't live without you. you're my air, the reason why i wake up everyday... nothing is the same here without your sweet eyes and your scent. i think i'm gonna burst out of love. i'm crazy about you... i miss you, my love.".  i lean my back on the mattress, thinking about her smile... i look around....looking for something of hers... her makeup stuff and perfumes are on the dresser. i grab her pillow and close my eyes. 

I wake up for the sound of something.... "stop, dammit". i stretch my arm to grab the origin of the evil sound: my phone. it's 4 PM. fuck. i sit up.... my mom...the babies....Cari. there are two texts from her:

beautifulbaby: Shanbee...i have no words to describe what i feel for you. you make me the happiest woman on earth. i love you so much and i can't wait to throw my arms at your neck. i'm forever yours...you are my soulmate, my life.

beautifulbabe: i called Deb...she told me that you're sleeping. i miss your voice...i miss your eyes...i miss your hands...i miss your lips... as much as i want you to wake up, i want you to get some rest. i love you forever.

there's a picture of her pouting.... she's so pretty and i can't breathe. 

"good morning"  "mom, i'm so sorry. i fell asleep"  "don't worry...Cari called"  "i know...what about the little monsters"  "i fed them...but now, i need your help to bathe them"  "of course". 

i'm having lunch, waiting for Cari to pick up the phone. when her beautiful face appears on the screen, i smile widely:

Cari: Shanbee...hi!

Shannon: hi my love

C: are you having lunch?

S: yes....i think June and Gary hate me

she chuckles

C: it's impossible...they adore you

S: i have to be with them...i slept all day

C: you stayed up all night

S: yep... i want to be with you during the day...i mean during your day

C: Shannon...tonight you're going to sleep

S: no... i'll sleep when you sleep

she rolls her eyes, smiling.... i stare at her with heart eyes