Astral Convergences

Cari's diary

earthquake.tonight a big earthquake woke me up.fortunately,i'm safe.a few days ago,a tsunami hit Indonesia.i send a hug to my indonesian readers.the nature is very pissed off and we keep destroying everything.please,try to live respecting the environment.and now,to the chapter:i tried to satisfy your requests.

C pov

me and Shannon are having breakfast in my old bed.she places her head on my legs and i brush her hair  "your mother was so stoked to see us in the sweaters she made" my fiancee tells, smiling  "yeah,she's so pure.she sees us as if we were little girls"  i add, chuckling..Shannon turns her head to me and her smile disappears  "Cari..why your shirt is wet?"  "wha-"  i cut myself, seeing the spot becoming bigger at the height of my breast..i look inside the shirt and sigh..Shannon sits up quickly  "what?"  "i'm losing milk"  "whaaaat?let me see"  "Shannon ,calm down please"  i take off the shirt..we look at my left nipple,the responsible of the loss  "i'm gonna call the doctor"  "no..it's normal..it's nothing..Shannon...calm down..you're making me nervous"  she sighs and sits back next to me..she touches my nipple and the liquid  "it doesn't look like milk"  "i know..it'll be ready for when June will be born,you'll see"  i tell her..she keeps brushing it  "you need to relax.you won't come with me in Texas"  "what?Shannon..there's no way i'm gonna spend christmas without you"  "no.for once,you'll do what i tell you"  "...Shan.."   she stands up  "case closed."

we're having lunch with my family..but my mood is not good  "Cari,honey..try to understand..you took too many planes in the last weeks..Shannon's right.you need to rest..plus,we're so happy to have you here"  my mom tells me..but i keep my gaze on my meal,not really eating..i'm not hungry,for the first time in....months.i shake my head, in the verge of tears  "i don't wanna stay away from you"   i whisper with quaking lips  "take my hand" i do as she requests.she stands up  "we're coming back..give us a minute" my parents nod.when we're in my bedroom she takes a deep breath before speaking  "Cari..baby...we'll be together for new year's eve..you have to rest and be here..your mom is happy to take care of you..she misses you..why can't you see it?"  tears start rolling down my cheeks  "but..i wanna be with you.."  she grabs my chin  "hey,don't be fickle"  my crying is now more intense  "but baby..i can't sleep without you"  "awww..this is my fault..i spoiled you too much"  she says hugging me.an hour later,i'm calmer..i stopped crying..after all,this will be our last christmas separated.

the day after

i'm crying,but this time because she's going away..i throw my arms around her shoulders  "i love you..so much..so much"  "i love you too, princess"  she kisses my lips and my hands  "take care of our daughter". then she hugs my family  "take care of her,please.she's everything for me"  my mother nods,smiling  "don't worry, honey..they are in good hands". she takes the bags  "well...my taxi is waiting for me.." her eyes are watering..i'm not the only one suffering for our forced separation.i run to her..we exchange multiple kisses  "i love you Shanbee"  "i love you my little baby"  we pull away and she places a kiss on the bump  "i love you June".

i'm on the couch,watching the fire on the chimney..she's been gone for a few hours and i already feel lost..my daughter kicks  "i know baby,i miss mom too"  i sigh and stand up to go to my room.i take my diary and head to the kitchen..i grab biscuits and donuts and come back under the cover on the couch.the best remedy for someone's absence is remembering..so i start eating while turning the pages of my thoughts container:

Since we're in London,Shannon tried to have sex with me multiple times...and i understand why..we've been apart from each other for a week..but when she entered the shower,i rejected her..and honestly,i don't know why..i feel more moody than usual..maybe it's because of the trip.i read somewhere that being in another country affects our ordinary mood..and the body too.i only feel good when i eat.