A Mother's Struggle

Chapter 4

Sunday passes, Monday passes, and I still haven't thought of what to do. I'm not ready to be exposed and even my kids don't understand that. They'll understand when they are older because everything I do is for them. If I get exposed, that goes for them too. They will never enjoy being at school. Their peers will make life hard for them and if I let that happen, what kind of parent would I be?

It's on a Tuesday morning and only one thing is running through my mind. I don't even have money to buy beer. The money I have is important that I can't drink with it. I take a walk. On my way back home from the walk, I almost get bumped by car and a nurse is driving that red Kia Picanto. I didn't even notice the car coming towards me until they hooted for me to get out of the way.

"That's it! A nurse." I say to myself and I lift my index finger. The nurse in the car gave me an idea. I gave birth to Naledi in this town's clinic and there was this nurse who let me stay at her house a few days after I gave birth. She's the only friend I have in this town. She was always there for me. I've been Zandile's patient even when I had to take the kids for their vaccinations. I haven't talked to her in a while though. I have to pay her a visit tomorrow in the afternoon, as soon as she knocks off at work. Zandile knows my situation at home, I told her because I trusted her and I saw that she has my back.

When I get home I take a nap, hoping that when I wake up the kids will be here. I cooked for them today.

They're the ones who woke me up actually, they came in with a lot of noise. When I asked what's the noise for they said that there is no school on Thursday and Friday so they are happy that they'll be staying at home. As if there's something exciting for them to do when they are here. As long as they are happy right?

"Your food is on the table." I tell them.

"So mom, what are you going to do about Saturday?" Lesedi asks.

"I have an idea okay? But I'll only tell it to you if everything goes according to plan because I don't want to raise your hopes only for you to get disappointed." I tell him. I thought he would argue with me but he doesn't, instead he eats his food in silence. He seems to be enjoying the food.

"Mom, on Thursday, may I please go to a sleepover at Lerato's house." Naledi asks.

I gave her a hard glare and ignored her question. Lesedi looks at her and she shrugs.

"Mom, did you hear what I said?" I still ignore her.
A sleepover, is she insane? I'm here trying to avoid getting exposed, and she does things that could get us exposed. What does she know about sleepovers anyway, they never end good.

"Mom, Naledi is talking to you."

"I heard her Lesedi, I just ignored her stupid plea."

"Stupid?" Naledi scoffs.

"Yes, I said stupid. It is stupid. You are not going to any sleepover."

"Can I ask why?" She asks.

"Are you questioning my parenting?" I ask her.

"Mom, just let her go, she's a big girl I'm sure she won't say anything." Lesedi speaks for her.

"My son, did I miss your graduation?" I ask.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When did you become a lawyer? I said Naledi is not going to any sleepover and my word is final."

"Mom, you're just saying that because you want to keep our lives a secret. Keeping who we really are a secret only makes matters worse." Naledi says. I ignored her again.
"Mom, just tell me why you won't let me go."