A Mother's Struggle

Chapter 9

Zandile's POV

"I'm so sorry I gave them the address. Sibusiso was here and I could not risk him finding out that I lent you his house for five Saturdays to host your meeting. It was way too cl..." I am interrupted by a bang on the bedroom door. Gosh! I think he heard everything. I hang up the call and I am shivering. I do not say a single word to him.

"Oh well, that explains pretty much everything. I guess I was too dumb to see that you have been lying to me. My own wife lied to me for a friend, a friend that will never be here for you like I have. This explains it all; why you would ask me every flipping week if I was going to work on a Saturday and why you would want to go to a weekend vacation if I was not working." He says emphasizing the word Saturday every time. He is shouting and a lone tear makes its way down my cheek.

"I thought as a couple we were supposed to be completely honest with each other. What happened to being trustworthy? It is the little things like this that destroy most relationships. Because if you can lie about something like this, you can lie about anything. You are literally capable of looking at me in the eye and lying to me and plan some devious plan to get me out of my own house to help your pathetic little friend. Why would you lie to me to please your friend? Since when do friends come between us, you literally shattered the trust I had in you. I never choose my friends over you Zandile but you did. You have been lying to my face this whole time and I have been a fool and thought you are the perfect wife. Five Saturdays Zandile? Five? I guess I do not know my wife the way that I thought I did. You have been lying to me for more than a month now." He stops to breath and chuckle. I have never seen him this angry and hurt before.

"I am so so..." I try to apologize but he continues, " If it was one Saturday yes, but no it's five and what breaks me is that I thought I knew you. Who knows what else you have been hiding. I can't do this Zandile. I am..."

"What!" I interrupt him assuming that he was going to say he is breaking up with me.
Is he seriously leaving me for this? Such a minor issue that normal people in a relationship would solve and let history be history but he is leaving me instead? I am just glad I did not say that out loud. Tears run down my cheeks as I repeatedly say the words "what" and because my voice keeps getting lower, it sounds like an echo.

"But why?" I ask him even though I know the answer.

"Are you for real asking me that right now? You women think we have it easy. You guys are selfish as hell. You are not considerate. You just broke into tears but you are the one who messed up. I do not understand women. How do you expect me to feel? My "perfect" angel lied to me, I have been living a lie and do you think trust can be easily rebuild by choosing to forgive you? Never!" He says those words while packing his bags.

I cannot believe this. He cannot be seriously leaving me. I try to touch his hand but he jerks it away. I know I messed up but he is also being ridiculous. We can sort this out.

"Sibusiso please, don't do this to me." I beg.

"You did this to yourself. You did this to me." He also starts to cry. Well, not really, he is blinking rapidly to keep the tears from escaping his eyes but I can hear it in his deep voice. Is he that hurt? I feel so bad.

What does he mean I did this to him though? I lied to him, actually I did not lie, I just did not tell the truth. Wow! I sound like Mmampho right now, I should be ashamed of myself.

"I will send the divorce papers." He says as he leaves the room. Divorce papers?

"Sibusiso I'm begging you. Don't you think you are taking this too far?"

Our first big fight and he wants to divorce me. He is not even going to consider fixing things.

"I thought we were stronger than that." I whimper.

"I thought we were stronger too. Strong enough not to lie, keep secrets, put third parties before our marriage. You did it knowing it would upset me, that's why you hid it from me. It wasn't a mistake, you knew what you were doing and you were so good at it that you were able to keep it from me for more than a month. Think about this. What would you do if I did the same thing to you? Considered my friends before you? Lied to you?" He says before going through the door.

He leaves me crying on the floor.

He is right though. If he did this, I was going to be worse, I do not know if I was going to divorce him though, but I would certainly be very mad, more than he is right now. I guess I am being selfish. I cannot hide the fact that I am heartbroken though. I loved, well, still love Sibusiso with all my heart and I never pictured us breaking up, ever. If we were going to divorce, I thought it would be his fault.

While I am sulking and looking at our wedding picture album, I hear a knock on the door. I check the time and it is half past seven. I have been crying this whole time and my eyes are swollen. They are red and my eye liner is messy because of my tears. I am in my pajamas and I have been eating ice cream with a very big spoon. The person on the door does not stop knocking.

"Coming!" I attempt to shout but my voice cracks.
I run to the bathroom to wash my face and fix myself. Whoever is at the door cannot see me looking like this.

When I am done, I rush to the door. Opening it, I see the women who keep destroying my life to bits. Why are they here? I cannot believe I fixed myself for these two. I let out a sigh and roll my eyes.

"What do you guys want now?" I ask them, I am not being nice this time.

"We want to know the truth Zandile. How come we held our meetings here and suddenly Mmampho does not live here?" The words sound like a demand rolling off her tongue.

Really? They came all the way from their homes to come and ask me that. I guess they do not have hobbies or husbands to entertain. Anyway, Mmampho hasn't even called once to check how I am doing and that is not so "friendly" is it? Coming to think of it, I have done too much for Mmampho that I do not owe her anything. Instead when I need her to be there for me, as a good friend, she is not. That is not fair. I cannot keep lying to these people. It is about time they knew the truth, she cannot hide forever. Plus, I think they have already figured it out, they already know where she lives anyway. Lying to them will get me into more trouble, lying already cost me my marriage, who knows what else I will lose. I've been deep in my thoughts that I even forgot that I was asked a question.

"Well, I bet you guys saw where her real place is so I am her friend and she asked me to lend her my house for all the Saturdays when she had to host a meeting. As a good friend I did because my friend needed me. I am only telling you this now because I figured you already saw and figured everything out. You guys coming here ruined my marriage so please leave and never come back here. I am asking you very nicely." I am trying really hard to keep the tears in. The last thing I want is for them to see me crying.

"Okay, thank you Zandile." They immediately left. I was left there banging on the door multiple times to express how I am feeling right now.