A Mother's Struggle

Chapter 21

Yesterday was awesome. They planned all that for me. I wish I had something to show them how grateful I am, especially to Chris who spent his money on me.
He dropped us off last night after the celebration because Lesedi and Naledi have school today. As for me, I am bored and I miss Chris already.

I made a really huge decision yesterday. Getting into a romantic relationship with Chris is huge for me. I have not dated in a really long time and my hope right now is that he does not hurt me. That should be the least of my worries though, his actions just show that his intentions with me are good.

This is the last week of school then it'll be the June holidays. I bet my kids will be happy to stay home. They walk in as I am thinking about them.

They seem to be having an argument. It's about Naledi's love for school. Here we go again with this topic.
Lesedi keeps telling her that she'll hate school when she gets to high school.

Naledi comes to me and says, "Mommy, please tell Lesedi that I will love and enjoy school until I get to matric, unlike him."

I have no idea how to respond to that. We can't predict the future but that is how she feels and she should get support. Coming to think of it, I used to love school too, I never thought I would drop out of school someday. Although if I say that to her, I wouldn't be encouraging my child.

So in response I say, "Lesedi stop discouraging your little sister."

He then says, "It's true though mom, school is all nice until you get to high school. The work load is too much, the teachers hate you for no reason, your school mates too, you get bullied, the work becomes more difficult and you are expected to fit in."
Which is true.

"Lesedi listen, when you go to high school or any new environment for that matter, you must remember that you are your own person." Normally it would be them advising me, I stepped up. My happiness means a whole new different things in our lives I guess.

"You do not have to be liked by everybody. Serve your purpose and that's it. Whoever has a problem with how you do things, should just be told that their opinion was never asked for. Don't do things that make you unhappy to make other people happy.

"In your life, you are supposed to come first. When you are in high school, find friends who understand you, friends that will build you and not break you, actually, you do not have to have friends at all if there is nobody that will accept your real self. There is absolutely no need to stoop to somebody's level to "fit in" and impress people around you. What about what you want?

"You should never make decisions that will destroy your life at a later stage. High school is the starting point of making your own decisions in life, decisions that you think will make you happy and successful someday. It's a really tough journey and people change throughout that journey, people lose their lives, people change their mentality, they grow and you have to survive all those things. You will be criticized a lot at that point and you should stick your ground. School work should be your only priority, I always say, do what makes you happy. Okay?" I tell them.

"Now you should make me proud, take us out of this shack okay?" They smile in agreement.

"Yes mom." Lesedi says.

"That's my boy." I hug them.

"Okay let's talk about Chris now." Naledi says.

"What about Chris?" I ask, I can't help but blush too.

"Look at you, all happy and blushing." She says.

"Anyway, you stole my phone to call him, I should scold you for that." I say to her.