A Mother's Struggle

Chapter 58

Mmampho's POV

It is a sunny day, birds are chirping and I am in a great mood. Lesedi went to hang out with his friends, Naledi is at school and Thabo went to work.

I woke up early in the morning to go and jog, when I came back, I showered then I decided to clean this huge house. Hopefully, I will be done in less than an hour.

I clean my room, Thabo's and the children's rooms before getting to the bathrooms. Then I clean the whole upstairs floor.

Just before I go down the stairs to clean the ground floor, I hear a knock on the door.

So much for my peaceful day! Who could it be?
It better not be one of Thabo's neighbors coming to ask for sugar or something. What a crazy thought, that probably does not happen in such neighborhoods. Everybody is probably able to maintain themselves and the neighbors are most likely to not know each other's names.

I wipe my wet hands with the old dress that I am wearing and walk towards the door, and I know I have to change my facial expression. This frown, got to go. I fix my face before opening this door that stands between the unknown visitor and I.

I open and spot him. Why is he here?

I loudly scoff before shutting the door, and with his man-strength, he blocks it with his arm. I scoff again. Is he trying to get on my last nerve? Because it is surely working. I need to go back to my cleaning.

I let out a huge sigh and try pushing the door harder, so that it can close shut and I can lock.
He is so strong.

"Ugh!" I let it go and try to leave, he grabs my wrist and I jerk away really fast, almost like I was burning. When he grabs the second time, I try to jerk away again but this time, his grip is stronger so I cannot.

"Could you please just leave me alone."

"Why?"

"What do you want Chris?" I ask softly, my voice sounds like that of a person who's running out of air or whose energy has just been drained. Yes, his presence sort of like drained my energy, all of it.

Before all his shenanigans, his presence used to uplift both my mood and spirit. It would make me tingle, and it would raise the hair on my skin. It would also make me jolly. But now? I do not feel it anymore. Or rather, I do not want to feel that way about his presence anymore.

"I want to know why you left the house."

"So you do not know what you did?"

"Yea." He shrugs.

"Let me go then."
He does and the grip he had on my wrist lingers.

I massage my wrist and he offers to help me, I refuse and he looks shocked. What's shocking about that? I do not want to have any physical contact with him.

"Well, aren't you going to offer juice to your guest?"

"Don't push it Chris." I give him a warning glare knowing that I have the ability to kick him out. Of which I doubt that he will listen, he is the most persuasive man I have ever met.

We both take seats in the lounge and I start repeatedly hitting the table with the keys. I guess it is to soothe myself, I am a little anxious. The air gets thicker and thicker, each time hardening my ability to breathe.
Awkward!

"Are you here for Thabo?"

"No, for you."

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

"We need to talk."

"What about?"

Okay now it feels like an interview. Although, I am happy that I am on this side of the interview. I am the interviewer, and I am asking questions with an intimidating voice. I am trying so hard to make it sound intimidating, it helps eliminate the awkwardness.

Otherwise I would be here with the keys, making a beat that only makes sense in my head, giving him short answers. See, I prefer my way.

"About us."

"Right. Let me break it down for you maybe you will understand it. Chris Mosime, there is no us!"
And that? That was very harsh. I love how I have taken charge of the way I think and what I say, not caring about what the next person thinks or feels about it. I mean why should I be nice to him when he disrespected me like that. He let his ex run over me.

Is that glossy eyes I see Chris? And he blinks rapidly to avoid crying. Crocodile tears will not work on me honey.

Just when I thought he would give up, stand up and leave, he places his large hand on mine gently and I repeat what I did earlier, I jerk it away quickly. He slowly pulls his hand back.

"If I were you, I would leave right this instance."

"Well then, I am glad I am not you." He answers. "I want to know why you left me." He adds.

"Ugh! Chris leave."

He stands up and walks to the door, very slowly and I am about to lose my cool.
If I could just push him to the...

And he has his lips slammed against mine.
Damn! This always happens to me. With  a kiss like that, then I soften up to him.
Thabo also did that to me, I hate that they make it seem like I am so easy to win over. Of which I refuse to accept. I am not easy to soften up. Or starting from today, I will not be easy.

Oh right, Chris' lips are still locked with mine and it takes everything in me to push him and not be tempted to kiss back.

"So this is it for us?" He asks in defeat.

"You are only getting the memo now?" Too harsh? Whatever. It's about time I stand my ground.

"I love you Mmampho, and I always will."

"Okay Chris," I roll my eyes and open the door for him.

"But seriously now, please tell me why you moved out."

"Go and ask Angela." I say.

He furrows a brow and I shrug. He finally goes through the door and I slam it, then I lean against it as I slide down to curl myself on the floor. I let out a huge sigh. Well, I am glad that's over.

His lips against mine made me trail off to the night he threw a surprise birthday celebration for me. The day we had our first kiss. Just like that day, his lips were warm and...

No, I refuse to have a flashback of that night in details. I need to brush off this confusion before it takes full control of my mind.

Was it pain that I saw in his eyes? The last time I saw him like that, was when he was telling me about his gay father's death. Does it mean...
Ugh! Who am I kidding? I have no idea what that means.

And just like that, the confusion crawled in.
I just feel sorry for him. I still do not understand how our break-up saddened him when he was the reason behind the break-up in the first place. I am supposed to be the saddened one, he hurt my feelings, he lied to me and his love was never genuine.

I am just glad that Thabo did not find us kissing. In my defense, I did not kiss back, so I did not cheat.

I tried to finish cleaning before the family came back.

Lesedi and Naledi walk in at the same time, I tell them to go upstairs because I need to finish cleaning downstairs.