A Mother's Struggle

Chapter 32

When I get there, Chris is not here and so is his briefcase that I dislike so much. I assume he is upstairs. I go to check in his room and the door is slightly open. I open as I softly knock on the door. He is lying on the bed with his formal clothes facing the dimmed light on his ceiling like his thoughts are miles away. My knock did not even trigger him to move, it seems like he did not even hear it.

"Baby." I call on him, my voice is soft and calm, I hope.

"Oh sorry, I was just--uh, water yes, thank you."  He stammers and holds out a hand for the glass of water that I brought.

I take a sit on his king sized bed. This bed is so unbelievably big, comfortable and soft. His bedding is a darker shade of grey and white. It has no patterns, just a lot of  words that I have no time to read, written on it. It looks like it was washed just a few days ago. His headboard...Ugh, enough about Chris' bed, I need to focus.
Focus. Focus. Focus.

"What?" He stops drinking and asks.
I did not even notice that I was actually saying it out loud. I need to calm down, it cannot be that hard.

"Nothing, how are you coping?" I ask.

He sighs and places his glass on the drawer.
"I feel like all my hard work has just been taken by the dumpster truck. Do you know how that feels?" How can he even ask me that? I have never worked a single second in my life. He knows that.

"I am so sorry. Should I run you a hot bath?" I ask him.

"That would be nice, please." A grin appears on his emotionally drained face, almost like he is faking it. I guess it was one of his best clients.

I gently stand up and go to his bathroom. I open the hot water tap, pour foam bath and bath salts that are said to ease muscles as I read on the small container earlier on when I had nothing to do. The hot steam fills the bathroom.

I can hear the kids playing on the other side of the window and I get the thought that the noise will disturb Chris' relaxation so I tell them to go to the other side. The white foam covers the bath tub. I switch the tap off and throw in his beige wash cloth. I leave the room and make sure that I shut it so that the steam does not escape the room.

I make my way back to him and tell him to go and bath. He thanks me and stands up to leave.

I return to Mavis and we set the table in the meantime, I did not help her cook today and I can't help but feel bad a little. I love helping Mavis, it keeps me busy.

I called the children in to eat. I am only going  to call Chris after everyone is done clearing their plates.

Mavis took a taxi home because she saw how exhausted and drained Chris looked.

When I got to Chris' room, he was already asleep, he must be really down. I do not want to disturb his peace but he needs to eat. Whatever, I will just let him sleep.

I want to stare, the whole night if I have to, just staring at his handsome face makes me smile. He looks sexy even in his sleep. No drooling, his mouth is not open and not a single snore. I slowly walk towards him and he turns towards me. I thought he actually heard me. I am glad he did not. I hope that the bath calmed him down. I do not like seeing my Chris drained like this.

I finally helped Chris with something. He has always been the one to help me. So this is one point for me, and one hundred million for him. Hopefully, I'll catch up someday. Fingers crossed.

I really do not want to leave the room. I want to stare when he is asleep, it is only now that he cannot ask me why I am gazing or what I am reminiscing about judging from my smile. I approach him again so that I can watch from a perfect angle. He looks at peace although he is not at the moment. I wonder what he is dreaming about.