Must Not Fall Inlove

Part 59

Alex's POV

nangangatog akong lumapit sa katawan ni Kuya inside the morgue. He was in hard as rock and he was ice cold.

"suicide. God, I'm wondering where I went wrong." Dad said and cried beside me, I can see pain in his eyes kaya naman nasasaktan din ako pag nakikita ko siyang ganyan.

"you raised Kuya so well, Dad. It's not your fault." I said then hugged him back as tears started to form and fall into my eyes, ramdam kong mas niyayakap ako ni Dad nang mas mahigpit.

He was so happy, we were so happy last night. Why did he left us with such painful memory like this?

"san niyo siya nakita,Dad?" I asked, hindi ko nakita si Kuya sa office kanina, I wonder where he went before doing this to himself, just looking at him makes me cry more. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin na wala siya.

"he shot himself at his house, we were too late to find out he was there." he said while building up his courage. "fuck, this life is a fucking mess."

"was it really suicide?" he was alone, no one could know what really happened not unless his maids were there at that time, alam ko kasing tuwing sunday and wednesday lang nag pupunta doon ang maids para linisin ang bahay niya and to wash his clothes.

"yes, it's on cctv, Alex. He left a letter at his office before shooting his head." sabi ni Dad and handed me the letter na nasa bond paper. I started crying when I found out that he was really sad dahil kay Pauline. Fucking bitch. Kuya died because of her.

"dat si Pauline na lang namatay, that ass just used kuya para makapag tapos nang pag aaral." I said at lumabas na nang room, I couldn't just stand there to look at kuya being on that state. Hinabol naman ako ni Dad palabas.

"Alex mentioned that you should just let her live her life. Hindi mo na dapat guluhin ang nananahimik." sabi ni Dad then held my shoulder at pinilit akong maupo.

"you told Ate about this? " I asked, kung ako galit for sure mas galit iyon. I want to see her rummaging in our office and looking for that bitch to pull all her hair out.

Umiling naman si Dad. "not yet, she wasn't answering my calls but I'll tell her later if she's at home." he explained.

Dad left me for awhile while he fix everything for kuya, I was alone and all I could think about was my brother. He was so good I couldn't and wouldn't even ask for more. I was so happy with my siblings tas yung isa magpapakamatay lang para sa babaeng hindi naman niya deserve.

After a few hours dumating si Dad with a lot of papers on his hand at malungkot na malungkot ang mukha niya, "let's go, Alex. Dadalhin na lang nila ang kuya mo doon sa lugar na naayos ko." sabi sakin ni Dad at inalalayan niya akong makatayo.

"really unreasonable." sabi ko sa sarili ko, we were waiting at St. Peter, Dad was quiet at parang na pro process parin sa utak niya what's happening.

Why does he have to leave us? Pwede naman siyang magkwento samen pero bakit mas pinili niyang sarilihin yung problema niya, I was always there for him. Ni hindi ko nga siya itataboy kahit na araw araw niya pa akong kulit kulitin, I don't know what had gotten into his mind to do such things like this. Suicide could never be an answer to end such problems.

We were all born with a purpose. Hindi naman porket sobrang hirap, sobrang sakit ganto na gagawin mo sa sarili mo, this life was a present and the one who gave it to us should be the only one who'll take it away from us. I wish I could talk to Kuya one more time, last laugh, last asaran. God bakit ang sakit sakit mawalan nang taong mahal na mahal ko.

"Dad, andito lang ako. I will never ever leave you." sabi ko kay Dad. He lost mom then lost kuya, ayokong mawalan siya nang pag asa and I want him to know that I'll always stay with him through thick and thin.

"I know, Alex. Kayo na lang ang meron ako." sabi ni Dad then shed a tear. His sobs were painful at sobrang hirap tignan na nasasaktan si Dad. We had been through this at ayaw ko nang maulit yung nangyari sakaniya before.

"you'll always have us, kahit pa mawala lahat, we'll always have each others back." then hugged Dad. He looks tired and stressed, ang hirap umupo sa tabi niya and doing nothing about what happened.

"all his savings will be transferred to you and ate, that's what he said to his attorney." sabi ni Dad then handed me some documents proving that if ever Kuya dies, he wants his money and all his assets to be transferred to us.

"I wish we could rewind time, I wish we could just be whole again." I told Dad and started crying again. Dad rubbed my back at isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.

"I wish for that, too." sabi ni Dad. We stayed like this for awhile, it feels better to have someone beside you lalo na't yung moments na walang wala ka na.

We were sitting down nang biglang mag ring ang phone ni Dad and he went outside for awhile, I looked up to the ceiling wondering what could happen if I just let Kuya sleep into my house that night at saka sinamahan siya whole day. We could've prevented this to happen. Ang sakit sakit kasi talaga.

I closed my eyes, imagining that kuya was beside me brushing my hair back and wiping my tears for me. He used to do that everytime, he used to cheer me up always but how come he's now the reason why I'm sad. I cried again. Wishing he was with me.

"palagi ka na lang umiiyak, tuwing nagkikita tayo." a manly voice outstanded my sobs inside the room.