Must Not Fall Inlove

Part 64

Part 64
Alex's POV

Pumasok agad si Ate while Jax and I froze nang makita niya kaming dalawa.

"tangina, Jax. Iwan mo na muna nga kasi ako." sabi ko sakaniya at sinukbukan bitawan siya pero mas hinawakan niya ako nang mahigpit.

"natatakot ka? Naduduwag ka ba, Alex? Hindi mo na ba ko kayang mahalin dahil sa ate mo? " he asked at mas umiiyak na siya.

"oo takot na takot nako, oo duwag ako pero mahal na mahal kita, Jax." sabi ko sakaniya at finally kumalas na siya sa pagkakahawak saakin, "mahal kita pero sana intindihin mo na dapat inilulugar ko rin yung sarili ko." sabi ko sakaniya then entered the room while leaving him alone outside.

Pagpasok ko agad kong hinanap si Ate and to find out that she locked herself inside the comfort room. Dad looked at me asking what happened. I shrugged my shoulders, hindi pako handang malaman ni Dad yung tungkol saamin ni Jax.

"good evening po, Alex? " tawag sakin ni Trip, ayoko sanang iwan si Ate pero I know she won't come out unless umalis ako so I left at sumama na muna kay Trip, he was looking at me na parang na bobother siya sa itsura ko. "ba't nasa kusina kayo lahat?"

"I don't know, alam ko lang is nakita kaming dalawa ni Jax na magkayakap." I explained, naupo kami near some church na malapit lang din dun sa St. Peter.

"anong sinabi mo? I saw Jax crying inside his car." sabi ni Trip, nag aalala naman ako kung ano nang nangyari kay Jax, I was in the middle of the crisis. San ko ba dapat ilugar yung sarili ko sakanilang dalawa?

I sighed, lahat kasi toh mali, if I only had the guts to say no to him, sana ginawa ko na. Mahal ko kasi si Jax, and I know alam niya yon, hindi pa man kami, pinahalagahan ko na siya, pinahalagahan niya na rin ako kaya sobrang hirap niyang bitawan kasi kapit na kapit parin siya sakin.

"he asked me kung naduduwag ba daw ako sinabi ko oo pero mahal ko siya, Trip. He made me feel something so valuable, mahal na mahal ko siya pero it's either I lose my sister or si Jax ang mawawala saken." I cried out, inabutan naman ako ni Trip nang panyo to wipe my tears, "gustong gusto ko ipaglaban si Jax pero I know mali ko toh, mali sa part ko na jinowa ko yung ex nang ate ko."

"hindi yan pagkakamali, Alex. There's nothing wrong with loving someone. You have to remember that, ex na nang ate mo si Jax. Why does that matter? " he asked.

"kasi mahal niya pa, haven't I told you that? And it fucking kills me everytime na masasaktan ko silang dalawa, where do I put myself in? " I asked him wondering if he could give me some answers but he wept my tears and smiled at me.

"you have to put yourself sa sarili mo, you're protecting your sister from getting hurt same as Jax pero ikaw? Sinong pumoprotekta sayo para hindi ka masaktan? " he asked and he made a point, I was out of words kaya umiyak na lang ako sa tabi niya. Pagbalik ko nang burol Ate was settled down at mukhang malumanay na siyang nakaupo sa isang tabi.

Tumabi naman ako sakaniya ngunit bigla siyang umalis sa tabi ko, so I decided to call it my day, nagpaalam na muna ako before heading back home.

Kinabukasan

Hindi ko inexpect na I was going to be better sa libing ni Kuya, I just had their backs ngayon and Ate was still avoiding me and mas awkward dahil nandito si Jax.

After the ceremony nag karon nang onting salo salo para sa lahat nang dumalo, nagkakabanggaan naman kami nang tingin ni Jax.

After the little feast, dumiretso na kami sa family resto nila Jax, it was damn awkward at kung pwede lang ay mauna nakong umuwi.

"I heard Alex's graduating next next week. That's good." sabi nang mama ni Jax, Dad proudly smiled at me kaya naman nginitian ko na lang din siya, "finally, magkakasama na din kayo ni Jax all the time."

God, bakit ganyan pa yung sinabi mo Tita? Parang gusto ko nalang magpakain sa lupa, sobrang awkward na, I can feel ate's being so spaced out kaya I decided to change the topic.

"Ilang months na po si baby, Tita? Can't wait to see eh." sabi ko sakaniya, napahawak naman si Tita sa tiyan niya while smiling.

"7 months palang, almost there naman na." she said, after the lunch we've separated ways, si Ate kay Dad na sasabay pauwi nang Tagaytay, I brought my own car at gulat ako nang nandon si Jax na nakasandal sa kotse ko.

He fixed his self nang makita niya akong palapit, I know avoiding him was bad kaya this time, kakausapin ko na siya nang maayos. Haharapin ko na siya nang mas malinaw.

"let's talk." I invited him inside the car, ayoko nang may iba pang makarinig saamin, I want him to see how sincere I am sa gagawin kong choice.

He was smiling at me yet his eyes never lie, he looks sad and tired on the inside. "anong sabi nang ate mo sayo, bub? " he asked, he was looking so firm which honestly, ang pogi niyang tignan with a white polo shirt and shades.

"we haven't talked yet and I wanted you to know. Na ayaw ko na. Let's end this." I said, bigla naman siyang ngumiwi, I have to do this, gusto ko maging okay na kami ni ate. Ayokong ma feel yung burden at yung guilt na tinatraydor ko siya.

"no, no. Alex. Wag naman please, wala pa ngang week na mag on tayo? Why are you leaving me? " he asked at napiyok na siya, his eyes started to look red and same with his nose. "ni hindi pa nga kita nadadala kung saan saan." he added.

I started to cry, if only he knows how I still wanted to be with him, pero ayokong sumugal, ayokong mawala saken si Ate. "eh ayoko na nga, hindi mo naiintindihan? " galit kong tanong sakaniya habang humihikbi.

"you told me you love me, sabi mo saken naduduwag ka pero mahal moko kaya dapat kayanin mo, bub." sabi niya sakin habang naiyak, umiling naman ako sakaniya, hindi ko na sinasangayunan yung sarili ko sa oras na toh, " t-tapos ka na bang mahalin ako? "

"hindi naman kita minahal, I used you to somehow feel comfortable. Jax, iwan mo na kase ako, ano pa bang gusto mong sabihin ko? Hindi kita mahal, hindi naman talaga, naging masaya lang ako pero hindi yun pagmamahal, kasi kung mahal kita. Sana hindi tayo nagkakaganto. Tangina, bumitaw ka na." naiyak kong sabi sakaniya pero pilit niyang hinahawakan yung kamay ko kahit na nangangatog at umiiyak na rin siya nang umiiyak.

"edi gawin mo yon, Alex. I know you're lying. Mahal mo ko. You're just hurting yourself, worth it ba? Worth it bang masaktan ka? Ha? Alex, sige na. Wag mo na kong iwanan oh." he pleaded pero mas nagpupumiglas ako and trying to push him out of the car.

"oo baka maging worth it, kaya iwan mo na ko. Hindi ako yung deserve mo." I said, pinipilit ko na siyang makaalis para makauwi na din ako pero he was so strong and he managed to hold my hand.

"then try to be the one that I deserve, bub. Try it more, try for our future. Marry me." he said at inilabas yung singsing from his pocket.