Must Not Fall Inlove

Part 24

Part 24
Alex's POV
Dumiretso na kaming dalawa ni Trip sa burol ni Tristan.

The place wasn't crowded at tanging pamilya niya lang ang nandoon.

"I'm so so sorry for your loss, Tita." sabi ko when I sat down with his mother, Trip stayed at the back. He said it's better if I have a private talk with Tristan's mom.

Her eyes were burdened as if she cried the whole week, I know it must've hurt to lose someone you love specially it's his son who decided to commit on suicide.

I mean, suicide isn't the answer, it may have hurt a lot thinking that days were just getting worse and worse pero come to think of it, suicide won't ever end the pain, it just pass it to someone else.

"hindi niya sinabi saken na may cancer siya." Tita sounded like she was keeping it in pero hindi niya na napigilan at umiyak.

I hugged her tight, it felt worse when mom died, akala ko katapusan ko na rin, crazy shits came into my mind pero naiisip ko yung family ko, naiisip ko si dad si ate at si kuya, pano kaya pag nawala pa ko.

Recovering from this wasn't easy, pain may have felt like it just won't go away, parang pinagkakaisahan ka dahil sa sakit na dala dala mo.

"he didn't wanted you to worry, how about now Tita? Who's holding back your family? " we were both open about this, nung kami kasi ni Tristan, nagkakausap kami ni Tita about this.

"He left his savings to us pero that won't last up to when his siblings graduate, kailangan ko na talagang mag abroad." she cried, ang hirap talaga lalo na sa gantong state, pansin na pansin mo talaga na masakit na masakit yung nangyayari sakaniya ngayon.

"tita I can help, let me help you." I recommended, I have my savings naman na, I could use it to help.

"Im sorry to turn your offer down iha, savings mo yan, hindi yan saving namen." she said at hinawakan yung kamay ko. I mean kung ako naman yung nasa posisyon ni Tita for sure mahihiya din ako pero kailangan kasi talaga nang pamilya niya ito, lalo na't yung tanging tao na sinasandalan nila yung nawala.

i just kept quiet at pinagmasdan ang kabaong na nasa harap namin, I just can't get closer to him feel ko masyado pang masakit para tignan siya sa ganyang kalagyan, it feels so unreal na para bang sobrang sama nang panaginip ko to see him in that state.

"tita can I just ask, how- how did he committed suicide?" since I can't step closer to see him I'll just ask what he looked like, ayaw ko naman hayaan lang yung imagination ko.

"he hunged himself, kung alam ko lang ganon yung gagawin niya sa sarili niya edi sana lahat nang lubid sa bahay namin itinapon ko na." I knew tita was just joking to lighten up the mood, hanging yourself was hard, isipin mo pa nga lang na mag dive ka tas nauubusan ka nang hininga mahirap na eh , what more if you hang yourself to death.

after a long chit chat with tita, I decided to go home na dahil kasama ko rin si Trip, baka may kailangan pa siyang gawin sa bahay or kailangan tapusin na school works

"are you hungry? Ayoko kasing dumiretso pauwi." sabi niya while we were both stuck in a traffic, I wasn't sure kung nagugutom ba talaga siya or gusto niya lang mag bago yung aura habang magkasama kami, it seems so dark and dull, parang nawala lahat nang energy ko kanina.

"a bit." simple kong sabi, I tried to sound so excited pero it turns out I can't fake it, my mood literally went from 100 to 0, it's probably not my day.

Trip turned on the radio at nag patugtog na lang, shows that he really doesn't want the aura in here, I know that I'm not used to being so quiet but my mouth just won't move and I badly can't force myself to be so jolly.

We literally got stuck in this shitty traffic dahil rush hour na, everyone was dismissed from work and even school.

"Alex, look at me." Trip called me out while I was busy looking at the window, when I turned at him he was smiling, the smile that tries to tell me that it's okay.

"I know it hurts but it's going to get better, cheer up. I can't just sit here seeing you like that. Whoever Tristan is, he's sure is happy up there, wala nang sakit, wala nang hirap. Hmm? Come on, smile na." he said and held both of my cheeks tas pinilit niya itong ngumiti.

I don't want to disappoint him but sadness just takes over me, kung sa dali lang nang mga sinasabi saken ni Trip mawala yung mga sakit edi sana nakakangiti na ko ngayon.

"he may be happy, Trip. But look at me, look at his mom, he just passed it to us." sabi ko then teared out, I couldn't help myself, napipiyok na rin ako nung nag simula akong mag salita.

He pulled me over then hugged me tight, comforting me like this made me cry even more. Kung madali lang talaga mawala yung sakit sana kanina pa nawala, sana di na lang ako dinatnan. Sana di na lang ako nasasaktan.

"you're going to get over this, you're strong. One of the strongest person I've met." he said while rubbing my back.

He talks like he does know me so much, the way he does things make ne cry but at the same time feel so relieved, what's happening to me?

"thank you so much, Trip. For having me when I feel so lost, di ko na alam gagawin ko pag wala ka ngayon sa tabi ko." I said, I wanted him to know that I'm thankful dahil sobrang naappreciate ko yung efforts niya.

"you're welcome, I'm always here for you." he replied.