Dangerously funny

Kirsten Bloggs

Kirsten Bloggs is a daring and cute orphan raised by a stupid and brutal monk. Eventually she gets a job working as a teacher for the brave Lady Bloggs of Bloggs Castle. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a passionate passion.

On the day of their wedding, a rude nun escapes from the attic of Bloggs Castle and starts a fire. Believing that Lady Bloggs is dead, Kirsten flees from the church and wanders the cold moors for days until she is rescued by a adorable gardener.

However, although Lady Bloggs is blinded by the fire, she still breathes. Without Kirsten she becomes mean and cowardly. She turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the nun from the attic haunts her.

Meanwhile, thinking Lady Bloggs is dead, Kirsten accepts a marriage proposal from her saviour, the gardener. However, one night she believes she can hear Lady Bloggs calling, "Kirsten, where are you? Kirsten come home!" and she returns to Bloggs Castle.

On Kirsten's return, she finds Lady Bloggs drunk and without sight. Mistaking her for the ghost of the rude nun, she attacks her with a candlesticks and Kirsten Bloggs dies.

As she attends to the body, Lady Bloggs realises what she has done. Driven mad with guilt, she hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and she dies of consumption two weeks later.

END

Praise for Kirsten Bloggs

"One of the most passionate romances ever told. It makes you want to rush out and get a job as a Lady's teacher."

- The Daily Tale

"I feel more passion when I flush away my daily business than I did reading this book, but Kirsten Bloggs does warn us against the dangers of keeping a rude nun in the attic."

- Enid Kibbler

"I'd rather marry a adorable gardener than a mean Lady but each to his own."

- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."

- Zob Gloop